Cherish Me
by HimeMurasakiPrincess
Summary: Summary: Usagi is feeling insecure about his and Misaki's relationship. Misaki rarely ever tells Akihiko that he loves him. It leads to heated argument and Misaki and him going separate ways. Akihiko is in a horrible car crash and may die. How will Misaki react to this? A heartbreaking tale about Misaki's most important person being in a car crash.
1. Chapter 1

**My second Junjou Romantica Fan fiction. Last time my story was mainly focused on sex, because well lets face it, readers love the sex between all the couples right? I know I do haha. Anyway back to the point. In this story, I still plan on it having a lot of sex (ahem) but I want to try to make it more emotional as as well. The relationships of all the couples is more that physical and I want to try to get that across to readers. Wish me luck guys :)**

* * *

Misaki woke to the ringing of his alarm in on a Monday morning at 7:00am. The ringing from his clock resonated in his ears even after he had turned it off. Misaki let out a tired yawn. He had stayed up all night the night before to watch a movie marathon till 1am in the morning. Still he made sure to get up at the same time every morning. Even though it was summer vacation, Misaki still made sure to get up early enough to make breakfast for Usagi, who was both his landlord and his lover. He could sleep all day after breakfast was made and eaten together in their usual routine. With some effort, due to him still being tired he made his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth and take a quick shower. After he was finished, he went into his room to get dressed, changing into a thin white sweat shirt and shorts. Feeling refreshed, Misaki made his way down to the kitchen to start making breakfast. Looking around, he saw that Usagi was not up yet, either that or he was in his room finishing a manuscript for a book whose deadline he had probably missed about a week before. Working diligently in the kitchen, he finished making the breakfast of miso soup, salted salmon, and rolled up eggs, as Usagi seemed to be so fixated on both color and shape of eggs. Misaki set the plates and napkins in their usual places on the table and then proceeded to another task of making coffee for Usagi. Looking at the clock, he saw that it was exactly 7:59am. Misaki automatically knew that the great Lord and author Usami Akihiko would becoming out of his room right about...now. The clock struck 8am and just as Misaki had predicted Usagi groggily made his was towards the breakfast table where Misaki was, the stuffed bear Suzuki in his arms. As he sat down, Misaki noticed that he had huge bags under his eyes, making it clear that the award winning author had not slept a wink the night before.

"Good morning" Misaki said as he took Suzuki from Usagi and placed it in the chair between the two of them.

"Morning", an exhausted Usagi replied in an unhappy tone, as he took his place at the table across from Misaki.

"itadakimasu" said Usagi

"itadakimasu", Misaki said directly after him, and the two started eating.

Glancing up from his food and at the bags that were under the eyes of Usagi, Misaki couldn't help thinking that if Usagi fished his work on time, then his life would be much easier. _Both _of their lives would.

_Geez, if you want to be able to get a good night's rest at night, then meet your freakin' deadlines for once and finish your work on time!_ Misaki looked at Usagi and at him thinking this he could not help but to voice his thoughts to the author out loud

"You know, Usagi-San", Misaki began, "you really should try to meet your deadlines for once. I mean look at yourself, you look like you're about to drop dead from exhaustion."

Looking up from his breakfast, Usagi replied, "I meet them when I need to."

"Well you need to start meeting them all the time!, said Misaki. "If you keep this up then you really could just drop down one day. Is it really so hard to just set up a schedule so that you can finish your work on time? Don't wait till the last minute!"

"Are you worried about me?", Asked Usagi smiling

"Of-of course not!" Misaki said, looking away all of a sudden.

At this, Usagi smiled. "It's so nice to have you think about my well being. But if I focused on work too much, then it would mean that I would not have enough time to focus on you"

Hearing Usagi's words, Misaki did not even notice when Usagi got up from out of his seat to stand beside Misaki. With Misaki still looking down, Usagi's hand found its way underneath Misaki's small chin, tilting it up while he bent over and kissed Misaki.

"Wah-!" Misaki exclaimed, surprised by the sudden kiss

Pushing Usagi's face away, Misaki continued his protests. "Baka Usagi! What are you doing? We are still eating! You look like hell and you probably haven't eaten anything since yesterday! Aren't you hungry?"

Pushing Misaki's hands down, Usagi continued to kiss Misaki despite his protests. "Food can wait. Right now I''m hungry for some Misaki."

Usagi kissed Misaki deeply, making it very hard for Misaki to say any other words of protest. He let his hands roam freely on Misaki's small frame, touching and nibbling on his neck. Usagi could already hear the small whimpers and quiet moans that were escaping from Misaki's lips. Upon hearing these, Usagi decided to continue to touch the young boy more. While his mouth was still on Misaki's, he slowly slid his hands under the table and in between Misaki's slim legs, where he began to touch Misaki's most private area.

"Ah. Usagi-san!", Misaki began protesting. Usagi continued to kiss Misaki while caressing his groin. Misaki's body began reacting without him even having to tell it to.

_Ah...no. God what does that stupid rabbit think that he is doing? I know that I should be used to him touching me like this by now, but I can't help but feel embarrassed. There is no way that I can be honest with either him or myself. _

Misaki was in such deep thought that he did not even notice that Usagi had used his one hand to unzipper his pants and now it had now found its way inside of his underwear, stroking his inner thighs and groin.

At this, Misaki had reached his limit. He hastily pushed Usagi's face away from him in one violent shove, all the while making Usagi release his grip from around his arms.

"Knock it off already!", Misaki yelled panting. "Why...why do you insist on just touching me whenever you feel like it?!" Misaki abruptly stood up, his face still red and looking down. "Don't just go touching me whenever you feel like it! Have you ever thought about how it made _me _feel to have you pounce on me every single damn day? You just assume that I want it every time you do! Don't get ahead of yourself!"

"Misa-", Usagi started.

"Ah...I-I'm done eating now so I'll be going back to sleep. Misaki picked up his dishes and left the table, not looking back at Usagi who was still standing there with a disappointed look on his face.

Later in his room, Misaki could not help but feel embarrassed at the way he reacted to Usagi touching him. He threw himself on his bed and buried his face in his pillow. Misaki had to admit to himself that Usagi's touch

_did _feel good. In fact it felt so good that it nearly drove him insane. Just the feel of Usagi's warm breath on his ear alone was enough to give him pleasure beyond description. He loved Usagi, there was no use in denying it anymore, but he still found it hard to express his true feelings. Misaki turned over on his back to face the ceiling , his mind still on thoughts of Usagi and the way he felt towards him.

_I know I love him, so why can't I find a better way to express it more? Usagi-san..._With those final thoughts, Misaki slipped into a peaceful and dreamless sleep.

* * *

Misaki woke up from his good sleep hours later, He turned to look at his clock and saw that it was already four in the afternoon. He sat up in his bed and strained his ears to see if he could pick up any noises that Usagi would be making.

_Oh.. thats right. I went back to sleep right after breakfast. I wonder if Usagi-san finished his breakfast. I guess it's too late to make lunch right now, but maybe I should get an early start on dinner for tonight. _

With a final yawn, Misaki swung his legs over the side of the bed and slipped his feet into his slippers. He creaked open the door and peered outside and into the hallway, which looked empty. Usagi was nowhere in sight, which made him want to go take a look inside of his room to see if he was there or not. Misaki decided against this however, as he did not want to distract Usagi from his work in the slightest way. He then made his way down the stairs and to the kitchen area. Looking towards the sink, he saw that Usagi's dishes from his breakfast were in the sink.

_I'll just have to do those dishes after dinner tonight. Oh well, at least I know that he ate his breakfast., _Misaki thought with relief.

He turned towards the fridge and took a look inside to see what he could make for dinner. Looking he saw that they only had a few ingredients for a good dinner. Misaki gently closed the fridge door, thinking to himself that he would have to go out to the store. Misaki walked back up the stairs and towards Usagi's room. He did not want to bother him, but he needed to know what Usagi wanted for dinner so that he could know what to buy at the store later. Upon reaching his room, Misaki was about to knock but stopped, his hand raised in mid air already.

_I have to apologize to him too. I shouldn't have yelled at him like that because of the insecure way that I was feeling. I mean I actually l-like it when he touches me, so I was the one who was out of line. _

Deciding of his intentions to apologize, Misaki lifted his arm once more and gently knocked on Usagi's door. There was no answer. Misaki knocked again, a little louder this time. Still, there was no answer or any type of noise form the the other side of the door.

Feeling a little sad, Misaki topped once more. _Hmmm...could it be that he is purposely ignoring me?_ Thinking this made Misaki feel even more sad, but he had made his resolution that he would talk to Usagi and that was what he was going to do. Taking a deep breath, Misaki slowly turned the door knob and opened it a crack to peer inside the dark depths of Usagi's room. Looking inside further, Misaki saw that Usagi was not in his bed, nor was he at his desk working. Feeling defeated, Misaki closed the door and made his way back downstairs.

_I guess I'll just have to decide what we'll be having for dinner. Usagi-san likes salmon, so maybe we'll have that for dinner tonight._

Misaki quickly got dressed and wrote a quick shopping list. He would have to buy more than just enough for tonight's dinner. He grabbed his bag and left, gently closing the door behind him.

About an hour later, Misaki came home from the store, two bags full of salted salmon, vegetables, and other condiments and ingredients that would last them for about a week or so. He made his way into the kitchen and began carefully putting the groceries away, except the ones he had planned to use for dinner. As he put the last of the items away, he heard the silent buzz of the door, signaling that someone was entering the apartment. Looking up, Misaki saw that it was Usagi who had just come home. He looked very tired as has groggily made his way towards the kitchen.

"okaidi", Misaki said as Usagi came into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

Misaki turned away from the fridge to face Usagi, looking at him he could tell the author had been through a hard day, probably with work related business. Usagi leaned over the kitchen counter drinking his water, not saying anything. The silence in the room made Misaki feel anxious and worried. He decided to take this as a chance to start some kind of conversation with the older man.

"Uh..Usagi-san, we're having salmon for dinner tonight just to let you know. I know you must be tired so I'll be sure to make it quickly so that you can go to bed early. You should keep you're energy up before you drop dead in a gutter somewhere."

Misaki did not get a reply back from Usagi, which was unusual and worried him a little. He intently stared at the author, trying to see if he could notice anything wrong. But this was hopeless for him. Even though Usagi could read Misaki like a book, Misaki sometimes found it very difficult to read Usagi in any way and interpret his feelings. But Misaki could always tell when there was _something_ bothering the older man.

"Usagi-san?", Misaki asked timidly. "Are you OK?"

As Usagi finished his third glass of water he lifted his face up and, allowing his violent eyes stare at a Misaki from across the kitchen. Sighing, Usagi answered him.

"I'm fine, just tired that's all", Usagi answered. "Aikawa and Isaka dragged me off to another pointless meeting that lasted for more than five hours. I can barely sit up strait" Usagi grumbled more of his complaints to Misaki as he turned around and began to saute the salmon and cut the vegetables for dinner.

Still cooking, Misaki turned his head a little. "I'm sorry that you had such a hard day at work. Don't worry I'll make a good dinner for you so that you'll feel better!"

While Misaki was in mid chop of a carrot, he felt strong arms wrap around his waste, tightening his small body against another. Resting his head on Misaki's head, Usagi gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Misaki", Usagi cooed into his ear. "I'm happy that you take the time to take care of me and that you're always concerned. Its makes me happy. But if you really want to make me feel better, how about you letting me fill up on some Misaki hmmm?" As he said this, Usagi's hand found its way up underneath Misaki's shirt and apron, where it started touching his soft stomach and chest.

"Ah! Usagi-san! N-no...", the younger man weakly protested .

Usagi's hand moved higher to Misaki's nipple and began to gently rub and pinch it in a circular motion. He knew Misaki liked it when his nipples were touched. The reactions of his body spoke for themselves. His nipple became hard almost instantly.

Misaki could feel his face go red and his body lose energy. He breathed in a deep breath wanting to let out a moan but stopped himself.

_No way..Usagi-san touching me shouldn't feel this..this good. What's wrong with me? When he touches me in any way, I don't want him to stop... Too embarrassing. There is no way that I can take this. If this goes on any longer I feel like I really will go crazy._

Thinking these thoughts, Misaki finally found his voice.

"Sto-stop it!", Misaki yelled, pushing Usagi away from him

Usagi stared at him, his eyes seeming to demand and explanation of the instance that had just occurred

"O-oh", Misaki began. "Let me finish making dinner so that you can go to bed already. I-I mean you must be tired right. So just let me cook. Dinner will be ready in another twenty minutes, so just wait OK?" Misaki turned around over the counter and continued preparing the meal. He heard Usagi's footsteps fading towards the living room behind him.

_I'm sorry Usagi-san..._

* * *

Misaki had finished making the dinner and was now setting the plates and glassed at the table in the dining room. He then went into the kitchen and set the food on the table. The dinner looked good and he knew that Usagi would enjoy eating it. Walking towards the living room area, he looked and saw that Usagi was on the red long length couch reading a newspaper.

"Usagi-san!", Misaki called. Usagi looked up from his paper at Misaki. "Dinner is ready so come and eat it before it gets cold"

Misaki began to make his way over to the table, hearing Usagi's feet right behind him. Misaki pulled out his chair and sat down. As he did so Usagi sat down as well. The two said their thanks for the meal and began eating. Stopping in a mid-bite, Misaki turned his eyes up to look at Usagi, relived to see that there was some color returning to his face. Misaki took another bite of his salmon garnished in butter sauce.

"Misaki...", Usagi said

The sudden sound of Usagi saying his name surprised Misaki.

"Yeah?", Misaki answered looking up.

"How do you feel about me?", Usagi asked

Misaki nearly choked on his salmon. He took a few gulps of water to wash it down. He knew his face was red and surprised looking. He kept his eyes turned downwards to his plate as he tried to think of a response to the sudden and embarrassing question that had been asked.

"Wa-What do you mean?", Misaki choked out. Y-you should know how I feel by now right? B-baka Usagi"

With his eyes still looking down, Misaki heard a sigh escaping from the Usagi's mouth. Hearing it, Misaki timidly looked up...just a little. to see that perplexed and confused look on his face. His eyes were closed and brow furrowed on his handsome face. Taking a deep breath, Usagi put his fork down and continued.

"Misaki...", Usagi began once more, "We have been together for nearly five years and you still act negatively towards me when I touch you sometimes. You really don't express your feelings to me like I express them to you. I tell you I love you on a regular basis. But you...you've barely told me you love me since last year. And I am beginning to wonder as to whether or not you still feel the same way about me...I-I just don't want to force you to be with me if you don't...if you don't love me anymore"

As Usagi finished, Misaki could have sworn that he heard a quiver in the author's voice at the end. Misaki felt horrible. He didn't even consider how Usagi might feel when he acted as he had this morning. In a small voice,

Misaki began to state his reply.

"I...no..that..that's not it at all..., Misaki stammered. He could not even find words to say how he felt, he was feeling both confused and angry at himself for making the man he loved feel this way.

"Usag-", Misaki began but was interrupted by the loud ringing of the phone.

Usagi slowly got up to answer it, leaving Misaki at the table, his confession still not said to Usagi. From the table, he could hear Usagi speaking a very annoyed and irritated tone to whoever was on the other end of the phone. Misaki could not help but listen into the author's conversation.

"I told you already I'm not doing another conference", Usagi growled into the phone. "You and Aikawa can take care of all that. You just dragged me along to a six hour meeting today. Do you intend to take up all of my time with pointless things such as this?"

Misaki automatically knew that Usagi was talking to Isaka, one of the directors of Marukawa Publishing. He was not one one Usagi's favorite people to deal with and he made no effort to hide it.

"Isaka-san", Usagi said irritably. "I am in the middle of something right now. So if you don't mind I would like to get back to having dinner in peace. My answer on the matter will not change so don't waste your time calling again. I'm hanging up now"

Misaki heard the phone slam back down in place, followed by a gentle click, letting Misaki know that Usagi had pulled the phone line out of the wall so that he would not be disturbed further with any more work related business. Usagi then picked up his and Misaki's phones off the shelf and turned them off. He was about to sit back down when the buzzer for the door rang, signaling that someone was entering the apartment, followed by the sound a quick footsteps. Misaki was about to get up and see who it was when he heard a voice yelling loudly.

"AKIHIKO, YOU BASTARD! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE NOW!"

Misaki turned to see Isaka standing in the doorway, with a worried looking and nervous Aikawa-san standing behind him, looking guilty

"Oh. Usami-sensei", Aikawa began, "sorry to interrupt you and Misaki's dinner, but Isaka-san insisted that that we had to convince you as soon as possible to attend the business trip". Aikawa waved a hello to Misaki and walked over to him and handed him a box of frosted sweet buns from her favorite cafe. "Misaki-kun, as an apology for intruding on your dinner, please accept these gourmet sweet buns. They are very delicious!", She added with a smile. She knew that Misaki loved all the treats she brought for him. Seeing the sweets held out for him, Misaki smiled brightly.

"Wow, thank you Aikawa-san!", he said beaming as he accepted the sweet pastries. As he and Aikawa turned around to face the other two people in the room, Misaki saw that Usagi and Isaka were both locked in a staring match, both of them looking equally annoyed at the other one.

"Akihiko, you should hurry up and get your things packed already. We need to leave in only two more days. We already have everything in motion, the plane tickets, the hotel, and the representatives of the company are already expecting you, so get a move on!", Isaka yelled

"I already made it quite clear to you that I have no intention of going anywhere this week. If the board of representatives are disappointed that I did not show up then that's your problem. I never agreed to it in the first place. So get out before I call the police on you for breaking and entering", Usagi retorted, clearly annoyed.

"Usami-sensei", Aikawa interjected, "Please reconsider. After all this is actually a big deal, so would you please just do it already? This could be a crucial part to furthering your career as an author", she said earnestly

"I never asked for it to be furthered. I am satisfied with where I am in my career at the moment.", Usagi said coolly.

"Then the hell with your career!", Isaka yelled. "My ass and my career are riding on how well you do your damn job, so get it together!"

"I am doing my job just fine, for your information. Isn't it you who is doing a horrible job? You should have taken my reply more seriously", Usagi said coolly.

"What the hell?!", Isaka yelled, looking ready to kill Usagi. "Are you trying to embarrass me to death?!" What the hell am I supposed to do if we show up at the conference without your ass in tow?! I'll be humiliated!, Isaka bellowed.

"Like I give a damn if you're embarrassed or not.", Usagi said as he took a cigarette out of his shirt pocket and began smoking

Still scowing at Usagi, Isaka's eyes shifted and he noticed that Misaki was standing in the room with them next to Aikawa, holding the box of sweets firmly to his chest and looking rather nervous for some reason.

"Ah, chibi-tan", he began "I didn't even notice you there all this time. How rude of me. My apologies. How are you? Good I hope.", he said as he walked over and gave the smaller young man a quick pat on the shoulder.

Usagi instantly looked annoyed, as he watched Isaka touching Misaki

Isaka noticed this instantly. He narrowed his eyes and smiled. He put his arm around the boy's small shoulders, smiling at Usagi.

"So Akihiko", he began, his arm still around Misaki in a tight embrace, "I bet I can guess what you have been soooo busy with for the last couples of weeks. But I would be distracted too, if I had a cutie like this around me all the time. I probably wouldn't be able to keep my hands off of him", he said, tightening his grip on Misaki's shoulders pulling him closer to his own taller frame.

Usagi narrowed his eyes at Isaka. A look of intense annoyance and murder in his eyes. He looked like he really wanted to kill the man. Misaki, the innocent chip in the whole situation just stood there, stiffly under Isaka's long arm. His eyes darted back and forth nervously between the two older men. For some reason, he felt that there was danger lurking in the midst.

"A-ah, Usami-sensei, Aikawa said, trying to break the tension, but to no avail, "We can let you sleep on it and come back tomorrow. Um...In the afternoon probably", she added, knowing that the man would be even harder to deal with in the morning.

"No", Isaka said angrily. "We need to settle this now. In fact there is nothing to settle. You're going whether you like it or not, even it I have to drag your ass kicking and flailing there myself", he said

Without speaking and still looking angry, he walked over to Isaka and pulled Misaki out of his grasp, placing a protective and possessive arm around the younger man. He began to speak again.

"Isaka", he began. "I do not recall ever giving you the rights to deciding my life and making every decision for me. Just drop it already and get out.", he said with a sigh as he began pulling him and Misaki back to the table with the food that was getting cold. "Don't forget to close the door behind you when you go", he said.

"AKIHIKO!", Isaka yelled loudly, running in front of the entrance to the eating area. "WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO DAMN DIFFICULT?! GET YOUR ASS UPSTAIRS AND START PACKING!"

"YOU ARE GOING!", he yelled at the top of his lungs. Misaki stood there next to Usagi, his wide eyes nervous and full of confusion. Misaki could hear an annoyed growl beside him and knew that it had come from Usagi who was standing next to him. Misaki, having a nervous feeling that the confrontation would turn violent sooner or later put his slim arms around Usagi's waste to hold on to him just in case of that occurrence.

"Um...Usagi-san, he began "What exactly is the meeting or whatever for?"

Hearing Misaki's question, Isaka smiled smugly. He cleared his throat and began to speak again.

"Well chibi-tan", he started, "the meeting is actually very important, even though Akihiko himself does not care about it. It's for the distribution sales of his books."

"Yes, that's right..", Aikawa chimed in "We plan on meeting with the board of directors, who are coming from America. It turns out that they are very interested in producing Usami-sensei's book all across America. They requested that he make an appearance to the meeting so that he could explain the concept of his books to them in person.", she added proudly.

"Wow", Misaki exclaimed his eyes wide with surprise. That sounds like a big deal, like it's really important.", Misaki said. Still holding Usagi, he looked up at him and said, "Um... maybe you should go. I mean after all it is work related and I wouldn't want you to get a bad reputation or anything. Not to mention Aikawa-san looks like she is on the brink of breaking down because of stress.", He added finally looking at Aikawa, who gave him a grateful and relived smile.

Usagi, who was still had his arm around Misaki, merely clicked his tongue, an annoyed look still on his face.

"Ah so you see Akihiko?", Isaka said smiling. "Even the little cutie thinks that you should go so lets a cracking shall we?"

"Fine, lets get it over with then", Usagi finally said, obviously displeased.

'Alrighty!", Isaka said enthusiastically, pleased that he had won the battle. "Then you'd better start packing! We're leaving in two days!", he added with a smile.

Misaki was slightly taken aback by the last words that came out of Isaka's mouth. "So-so soon", he asked wide eyed.

"Yes", Aikawa said. The directors are very eager to meet with him. They are offering him and our publishing company a very generous offer for the rights to publish his book in America, translated of course", she added with a bright smile.

"O-oh", Misaki said, looking down slightly. "It's just...well is that really enough time for Usagi-san to get ready to leave? I mean Aikawa-san will probably have to practically pack his bags for him", he added looking up again.

"No need to worry" Aikawa said. "I'll leave that part up to you. Make sure he has enough clothes packed to last him for about a week. Oh and don't forget the other essentials too, like toothpaste, ties, socks, shoes, clean underwear, and other things too", she said.

"Ah, OK", Misaki replied his eyes wandering

_A week...Usagi will be gone for an entire week. Will I really be able to cope without him. I mean I've grown so used to him being near. Will I really be OK without him?_ Misaki wondered

"Ah don't you worry cutie!", Isaka's voice brightly said, interrupting Misaki's thoughts. "We'll have Akihiko here back before you know it! You won't even have a chance to miss him!", He said

Isaka and Aikawa hurried to leave in order to make preparations for their departure. Before leaving and closing the door Aikawa said one last goodbye. "I'm counting on you Misaki-kun!", she said and closed the door behind them. The apartment was silent. Usagi and Misaki made their way back to the table and proceeded to finish eating their dinner that had already grown cold. Neither of them said anything, and barely looked at each other. Usagi seemed to have forgotten the conversation that they were having before Isaka and Aikawa came in, either that or he just didn't care. Misaki could not stand the silence that was present in the air, and for some reason he felt a slight tension in the air as well. He decided to make some sort of communication with the Usagi who was seated right across from him eating his food with a somber look on his face.

"U-uh", Misaki nervously began. "S-so I guess you'll be gone for a while then huh? Um...I know that you finished your work for once last week, so you have some free time before you leave. We should use it to pack you stuff for the trip. You should make sure that you have enough things with otherwise you'll just buy out all of the department stores", Misaki said with a nervous laugh. Usagi did not say anything, and kept eating. Misaki looked at his plate, feeling embarrassed and began eating all well. When they were finished, Misaki picked up the dishes and began washing them. He could hear Usagi's foot steps slowly walking up the stairs behind him. The sudden coldness made Misaki believe that he had not forgotten what they were talking about earlier, and had caught his own hesitation in saying his true feelings to the author.

_Is he not talking to me now? I hope he's not angry with me..._

The more Misaki thought Usagi was upset and disappointed in him, the more sad he got. His chest felt tight and his stomach felt as if it were in knots. He couldn't stand it if Usagi was mad at him. It made him feel uneasy and sad. He finished washing the dishes and wiped the tables off. When he was done, Misaki slowly made his way up the stairs to his room and closed the door behind him as he walked in. Misaki sat down in his bed, and slipped off his slippers. Usually he would say goodnight to Usagi before he went to sleep, but not tonight. He felt that he couldn't see him tonight if Usagi was mad at him. He laid down on his bed and put a pillow underneath his head. He suddenly realized that he was very tired. He let himself fall into dreamless sleep.

* * *

Misaki woke up the next morning to silence all around him. He looked over and saw that they sun was beaming through his window very brightly. He knew it was late. Looking at his clock he saw that it was 11:30am. He silently cursed himself. He'd forgotten to turn his alarm on last night before going to bed. His mind flew to Usagi. He automatically felt guilty for not waking up to make him breakfast like he always did. He sat up on his bed, his neck stiff, but feeling as though he had a good sleep, and was awake and full of energy. He creaked open his bedroom door and peered around the second floor. All the doors were closed and he could sense no movement. He slowly made his way to Usagi's door and placed his ear on it. He could not even hear breathing coming from the other side of it. Misaki decided to take a look inside anyway. Slowly opening the door and looking inside, he saw that there was no one in it. The desk was covered in scattered papers and books, while the bed looked made and as if it had not been slept in. Usagi was obviously not here. Disappointed, Misaki was about to close the door but then had an idea.

_Maybe since Usagi is not here, I can pack his bags for him. Then would could spend all day together tomorrow before he has to leave. That is...if he wants to._

Misaki decided that this was a good plan and stepped into the author's cluttered and toy filled room. Searching though Usagi's Walk in closet, he found traveling cases in the corner and lugged them along with himself out. He placed the three suitcases on the bed and stood back.

_Hmmm...All of these are huge...He'll probably only need on if its just for a week. One should do it I guess._

Misaki placed the other two back into the large closet and began opening drawers. Remembering Aikawa's list she had said, he turned towards the closet and began looking at the suits. Examining them, Misaki had to admit that Usagi had a nice collection of suits. All of them were classy and sophisticated, but not too exaggerated. He decided that Usagi would only need about three suits to for the entire week. The rest could be casual dress clothes. He noticed the dark navy blue suite with a light blue dress shirt and navy blue tie on the hanger closet to the left side of the closet. He knew that it was Usagi's favorite suite set. He unhooked it, folded it neatly and placed in carefully in the large suitcase. He unhooked a black an gray suite and did the same thing. He liked how Usagi looked in dark colors. He blushed. Last he folded and placed an dark brown and white dress shirt suite in the case. From then on was simple dress items. He placed in cardigans, dress pants, blazers, dress shirts, ties, and vests in the suite case, also making sure that he had enough underwear and sleeping clothes to last him. He took care in placing all the clothing in the suitcase, making sure to pack them very neatly. The last things he put in was Usagi's dress shoes, and some comfortable shoes for walking and slippers. Quickly running upstairs, he took a spear toothbrush and toothpaste from the cabinet and placed them in the small pockets inside of the case. He had room to spare. He closed the suitcase with ease, not having to sit on top of it, like people did on TV to keep it closed while someone else zippered it. He heaved it off the bed and stood it upright. He was glad that it had wheels, as it was fairly heavy. He placed it by the door and walked out into the hallway. Misaki felt happy and energized now that he had finished packing Usagi's bags, but also felt a a twinge of sadness at the thought of not having Usagi around. He was really going to miss him while he was gone. Looking at the wall clock he saw that it was past two O'Clock. Packing had taken longer than he expected. Misaki suddenly felt bored. Dinner did not have to be made for a couple more hours and he had kept the house clean the whole week. He did not have anything to do, so he decided to go back to sleep. It was a boring summer. No work, no school...and no Usagi. On top of the stairs, Misaki was about to enter his room, but stopped. His eyes drifted to Usagi's closed door where he had just come out of. He decided that he wanted to sleep in Usagi's room. He hadn't slept in it for quite some time now, and he always felt more relaxed in there than his own room. Opening the door, Usagi's dark room was warm and inviting. He walked in and laid down in the bed. He could smell Usagi's scent on the pillow and sheets. He covered himself and felt as if Usagi were holding him, as his scent engulfed him. He already felt tired and relaxed. Before going to sleep, he reached over an set the bedside alarm to go off at seven pm. He wanted to make sure that he woke up in time to make dinner for Usagi and him. Placing the clock back down, he fell into a comfortable, relaxing sleep.

* * *

Misaki was woken up a couples of hours later by the light that was turned on in the room. Slowly opening his eyes all he could see was a dim light that was getting brighter by the second. Looking over and focusing his eyes he saw Usagi standing over the bed. Seeing him, Misaki sat up quickly and rubbed his eyes. He was a little embarrassed that he had been caught red handed taking a nap in Usagi's bed.

"Usagi-san, okaidi", Misaki said embarrassed

"Good evening", Usagi replied as he began taking off his jacket. As he began to loosen his tie, he turned his head a little towards Misaki, an inquiring look in his eyes. "What are you doing here anyway?", he asked curious.

"Oh...well...", Misaki began feeling as if he had intruded in Usagi's private space. "Sorry. I kind of just fell asleep after I went under the sheets. I'll remember to ask next time.", said Misaki with a worried look on his face.

"It's fine. I'm not angry or anything. More like I'm just surprised that you came in here without me having to practically drag you in here. I thought you liked sleeping in your room better" Misaki was silent as he heard the comment. Turning his attention to the bags in the corner of the room, he raised an eyebrow. "Did you pack my bags?", Usagi asked with an unreadable look on his face.

"Oh yeah. I just thought that since you're always so busy with work and meetings that you wouldn't have enough time to pack your own stuff, so I did it for you. That way you won't have to be rushing at the last minute, I made sure to pack everything that you'll need for about two weeks. Is that OK?"

"Its fine", Usagi said with a strange look on his face. Misaki was unable to tell what he was thinking.

"You really want to get rid of me that much?", Usagi said in a low and quiet voice

Misaki was confused. He didn't even hear Usagi's last question. "Eh?"

"No, its nothing", Usagi said as he continued to take off layers of clothes,

Misaki could still see a look on Usagi's face to which he was not used to. He could feel that something was not right with the situation. He finally spoke up.

"Something wrong?", Misaki asked, growing more worried by looking at the expression that he was making.

"Not really", Usagi said, as he put on a comfortable black shirt. "It's just that, Isaka really took it to a new level this time when he and Aikawa planned this meeting with the publishing directors."

"What do you mean?", Misaki asked. "If it's apart of your work then the best thing is to get it over with.", Misaki said

Usagi continued. "Instead of doing a conference, they want a proper meeting with representatives from all publishing companies in America.

"Oh...", Misaki said, a little nervous

"Well, Isaka and Aikawa still plan on having a meeting with some of the representatives at the Jade hotel, but Isaka wants me to go to America to meet with the CEO of the publishing company"

Misaki went silent. He was confused and didn't know what to think. Even as Usagi continued talking, he could not hear him. The last thing he heard was that Usagi was going to America. All the was across the world, in most cases without him. Isaka would probably tell him to stay so that he would not 'distract' Usagi, which he could agree with. The last thing he wanted was to cause trouble for Usagi, but the thought of being left here alone without him for who knows how long scared him.

_Oh god..._Misaki thought._ How long would he be gone? When he was going to the islands, he would have been gone for three weeks almost, but now he's going to America. I know it's important for his work but...How long would he be gone when he went to America?_

Misaki could not stop the thoughts from roaming in his hear. He would miss Usagi if he was gone for any period of time. Misaki's mind flew back to the time when Usagi went to a two week conference a three years ago. He was a wreck. He didn't sleep as well, didn't feel hungry, but most of all he remembered feeling lonely. Back then he could remember that to him the loneliness felt unbearable, like his stomach had been tied in a knot. This led to him calling Usagi all the time just to hear his voice. Usagi flew home an entire week early just so that he could be with Misaki, knowing that he felt lonely. It scared Misaki that he might feel this way once again. He couldn't change the way that he felt. Misaki decided that he should keep his feelings to himself and tell Usagi that he should go. He didn't want to be a hindrance after all. Misaki opened his mouth to say the words. Just three simple words. 'you should go'. But when he opened his mouth to voice the words, nothing came out. Misaki just couldn't bring himself to say them, because he knew he'd regret them if he said it. Misaki decided to ask something else instead.

"Usagi-san, Misaki asked. "What do you want for dinner?"

Misaki turned off the alarm that he had set earlier and got out of the bed. Misaki wanted to make himself as busy as possible to get his mind off the possibility that Usagi would be leaving.

"Aikawa took me out to eat an apology for being roped into doing another conference. You don't have to cook for me tonight", Usagi said

Hearing the comment made Misaki feel the slightest bit of relief. He was not in the mood to cook. He felt vulnerable and shaky. All he could think was that he needed to get to his room as fast as he can so that Usagi wouldn't notice that he was upset about anything.

"Oh, so you ate. That's good." Misaki was using his feet to retrieve his slippers from under the bed. "I set an alarm for nothing. At least I don't have to cook now." Misaki could now hear the tremble in his own voice.

"Misaki...", Usagi started

Misaki continued speaking. "I'm not so hungry myself so I think I'll go back to bed. I'm still pretty tired."

"Misaki...", Usagi started once again.

But Misaki did not acknowledge Usagi calling his name. "Usagi-san...you have another meeting tomorrow right? So be sure that you go to bed early. Good night"

Misaki was about to make a quick escape out the door and into his own room when he felt a strong hand wrap around his arm

"Misaki!", Usagi said louder this time, pulling Misaki towards him.

"Ye-yeah?, Misaki said nervously, while looking down.

"Misaki, look at me", Usagi said, still holding him firmly

Misaki's eyes remained on the floor. Remembering how sad he felt when Usagi had left once, he felt his eyes starting to water. He couldn't look at Usagi, not now.

"Misaki"...Usagi said, "I won't go if you don't want me to."

Misaki cursed at himself. He had not hidden his feelings well enough to not be noticed. Usagi had seen right through him and now he felt obligated to stay. He felt guilty. He did not want to hold Usagi back in any way, especially when it came to his career. Usagi never says anything about it, but Misaki knew that Usagi loved his job, and despite his habit to miss deadlines and procrastinate, he took his work seriously and cared about what he did. Misaki refused to get in the way on that.

Still looking at the floor, Misaki began to reply, "Uh...I-I'm fine", Misaki replied in a small voice

In one swift, unpredicted movement, Misaki tore his arm away from Usagi's grip and ran to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

In his room, Misaki lay on his bed clutching his pillow close to his body. He felt strange, like he had done something wrong. And the only thing that he could think about was that Usagi would be leaving. He knew that Usagi would come back home, it's just that the thought of being alone without him for even a day scared him. Misaki remembered the day when him and Usagi had taken a vacation to the hot springs in Atami. He remembered what Usagi had told him when they were together in the open air bath

_'Misaki...Fall in love with me...Love me ten times, twenty times as fiercely as you do now, Until you can't bear to be away from me. Everything else you leave to me. Whatever anyone says, whatever they try to do, I will protect you.' _

Usagi's words resonated in Misaki's ears as he felt himself drifting off to sleep.

_Did it come true? Do I really need Usagi-san to be with me that much? Am I really that Dependant on his love?_

_'Love me until you can't bear to be away from me'_ Those words remained in Misaki's mind. As his mind relaxed and he fell asleep, he knew it was too late to deny it. He _needed _Usagi.

_Usagi-san..._Misaki thought. _You didn't have to tell me to love you until I couldn't bear to be away from you. From the very first time we met, I never wanted to be separated from you...I can't be without you...now or ever. Usagi-san...I love you_

With those final thoughts Misaki fell into a deep sleep, filled with thoughts of Usagi

* * *

Misaki woke up the next morning feeling tired and achy all over. He did not even have to look up at his bedside clock to know that he had once again slept in. He was thankful that it was summer vacation. Sitting up in bed he stretched his arms and his neck, seeing if he could get any of the kinks out. Looking over to his clock, he saw that it was 10:14am. He could not remember a time where he slept in twice in a row.

_I guess I'm a little stressed about Usagi-san?..._, he though while scratching his head.

Looking down, he saw that he saw his own clothes and remembered that he had not changed out of his day clothes since yesterday. Misaki immediately felt like he needed to take a shower as soon as possible. He was used to bathing at least twice a day, on rare occasions once a day. The sudden and unpredictable change in his routine began to make him feel antsy, like he needed to shower or something bad may happen. Getting up from bed he went over to his drawers and pulled out a navy blue long sleeved shirt and a pair of jeans. Everything else that he needed was in the bathroom. As he was leaving, he turned around once more, and slipped his hand quickly into his top drawer, pulling out a white pair of underwear. He didn't want to forget that of all things. Walking to Usagi's room and looking in, he saw that once again the author was not there, He walked out of his bedroom and began to descend down the stairs to see if Usagi was up or not. Everything was quiet and still, as he entered the kitchen, where Usagi would usually be having coffee. But there was no sign of him there either, Misaki thought about calling him on his cell phone, but decided against it, not wanting to interrupt any work that he may be doing. Misaki walked back up the stairs and to the bathroom, where he began to slowly take off his clothes, placing them in the dirty clothes hamper in the corner of the huge bathroom. He stepped into the large walk in shower and turned on the water. He let the hot water wash over him, making him feel more relaxed and calm. Reaching over to the counter he picked up his pear and apple body wash and began to slowly rub it over his body with his loofah. The lather was thick and soapy, massaging every part of his body with its sweet scent. He then washed his hair with herbal shampoo and conditioner, massaging his head with the sweet smelling gel, once done he stepped out into the shower and onto the mat. There was steam everywhere, but he didn't mind. He knew that he needed it. Misaki dried himself with his towel and them put on body lotion and then his clothes he had gotten out. Walking out of the heat from the shower and into the cold breeze that was emitted from the hallway made Misaki feel happy and refreshed, the shower had done him good. Misaki was on his way into the kitchen, but then stopped in mid step, as he realized that he was not hungry, which was strange because he had not eaten last night, but he did remember having a big lunch so he assumed that was why. He turned and made his way into the living room. Since he did not really have anything to do, Misaki decided that now would be a good opportunity to see what it was like to be a couch patatoe, at least for today anyway. Seeing Suzuki on the couch, he lifted him up and laid down, hugging the large stuffed bear. Turning on the television, he started to look at his favorite cartoon program. Even though he was nearly an adult, he still liked kid shows. (maybe something him and Usagi had in common) Pressing the bear further into his body, Misaki began to relax again.

Though the TV was on playing cartoons, Misaki could not keep his mind from wandering to thoughts on Usagi.

_I wonder what he's doing now..._Misaki thought. _We haven't really spoken to each other for a while now. I mean we did talk last night..a little, but I basically ran away from the conversation. But I don't think that Usagi-san's attitude changed last night. I think I knew that he has been acting a little weird, well weirder than usual lately. I guess I just ignored it. He seemed to have been feeling kind of...insecure, maybe even lonely for the last couple of weeks. So I'm the one to blame? N-no way...I mean he knows that I-I love him already right? So why should I have to say it constantly? I don't think its such a big deal. Just because he says it twenty times a day doesn't mean I have to. It-it could lose its value like that right?_

Misaki was deep in thought about the matter. Deep down somewhere, he knew that he was just making excuses for himself as to why he was right and Usagi was the one in the wrong, even though there was nothing to be right or wrong about. It was the adolescent and childish part of him that he had yet to grow out of. Misaki decided that it would be best if he were to just stop thinking about it and focus on the entertainment of the television that was in front of him. Turning up the TV, Misaki placed Suzuki underneath his chin and began to relax once again. Hours passed and the time grew close to eight O'Clock. Misaki already made dinner and was waiting for Usagi to come home. The cleaning and cooking had been done so he returned to looking at TV. He so wrapped up in what was happening in the cartoon program that he did not even notice when the door opened and gently shut, followed by foot steps coming toward the living room. Misaki was startled to see Usagi's tall frame towering over the couch looking down at him on the couch. Misaki began to sit upright, nearly knocking down Suzuki in the process.

"Hi, Usagi-san...Okaidi", Misaki said slowly

"Thank you", Usagi replied taking off his jacket and hanging it on the couch.

Usagi then sat down on the opposite end of the couch...the one furthest away from Misaki. This surprised Misaki. He knew that he and Usagi had not been on the best of terms lately, but it saddened him to see his lover act so distant from him. Misaki had grown very used to Usagi always being near him and despite his usual protests, he liked it when Usagi touched him, any contact was welcomed actually, as long as it was from Usagi. Now his attention focused on the author who was sitting down, Misaki realized that other than the hello that he had gotten earlier, Usagi had not spoken a word to him. Misaki could feel his heart race and then drop to his stomach. The way the Usagi was acting made him feel nervous and sad. He wanted touch and talk to him, he just wanted some sort of communication between them. Misaki could not stand that silent air between them and decided that it was time to speak up.

"Um...so, Usagi-san, what did you do today?", Misaki asked with a nervous smile on his face.

"Nothing in particular. I just had to attend another meeting for my book series that's all.",Usagi finished.

"Ah...", was all Misaki could reply

Misaki knew something was wrong when the author did not even make any eye contact with him when he spoke. This made the younger male feel even more worried than before. Misaki decided to try to make them talk one last time.

"S-so, you sure do have a lot of meetings about your series huh? It must be really interesting and well written to be so popular", Misaki stated with a nervous smile. Under the fake smile Misaki felt disappointed in himself that he did not even know what books Usagi had been working on recently. He felt guilty, realizing that he did not take an interest in Usagi as much as Usagi did in him. Misaki decided that maybe he could use this as a conversation starter, "Um..what book was it anyway? Another novel right? I hope that Americans wouldn't be interested in buying BL smut manga, he laughed nervously (ironic isn't it? XD because we do!)

"It's just a simple novel about the life a young man who has been ostracized from him family and must now find his own path in life.", Usagi said flatly.

"Oh", Misaki said

Misaki knew that he had picked a poor topic of conversation, It was a lame idea and he knew it. Of all the random things he could have chosen to talk about he had chosen to talk about his _work_? He did not even know what he was doing anymore. The young man was tapped out of energy for the strained talking session, but he decided that he wanted to continue anyway. Misaki was about to ask Usagi what he planned on doing tomorrow, when the author put his hand over his eyes, with his head hanging up. Usagi stood up, his eyes looking bored and uninviting.

After a short pause, Usagi began to speak once again, his back turned towards Misaki.

"Misaki"...Usagi said looking away. "I'll be leaving for America after all. In two days time"

Misaki felt his heart drop to his stomach. He really didn't want Usagi to go after all. He could barely believe what he had heard. Something was very wrong here.

"Y-you mean you're going?", Misaki asked looking terrified. He was glad that Usagi was not facing him now. He didn't want him to see his face because he knew that it looked as terrible as he felt inside.

"Yeah", Usagi replied. "I think it would be for the best if I start to focus more on my work...A month. I'll be gone for about a month", He said. To Misaki his voice sounded very cold and detached. It sent chills of anxiousness through his entire body.

_I never thought that he would actually leave for America. It's so...so far away. What will happen to us by then?_

_How will he feel about me by then?_

Misaki could not speak any words to make a reply. He just felt numb. Usagi would be leaving him. He was really _leaving. _Misaki was lost in his own feelings and was barely broken out of the trance when he heard Usagi speak once again.

"I'm tired, so I'll be turning in early. I had dinner out already so you don't have to cook for me tonight either. Goodnight", With his back still turned Usagi made his was up to the stairs and into his room. Misaki heard the door closing behind him. Misaki sat frozen on the couch, his mind full of confusion and worry. He did not like the way that Usagi was acting towards him. But he knew that it was his fault. He wanted to make things right between the two of them again. Tomorrow was the day before Usagi was supposed to leave and as far as he knew, the author had completed all of his work and seemed to be done with all of his meetings before the trip. That mean that could spend the whole day with Usagi before he left. He would plan out the day so that Usagi would enjoy himself and hopefully get back to being more intimate with him again. Misaki turned off the TV and went up to his room. Getting on his desktop computer that his brother had bought him, be began to research things that the two could do, preferably activities that were free. He saw that the cherry blossom festival was taking place and that there would be a parade downtown. After that they could go to Tokyo tower and even the park. This gave the boy some ideas. He remembered that because Usagi was feeling too tired and feeling fatigued last year, they couldn't go the look at them. He could make up for it now. He could make a picnic like they planned on doing last year and view the cherry blossoms under the blossoming trees. I would be fun. Settled on this, Misaki made his way down to the kitchen and began to make rice balls, sandwiches, bentos, lightly sweetened cakes, and more. This took more than three hours to do, but when he was finished, Misaki was very satisfied with the results. Everything seemed to be perfect. He placed everything in containers and put them in the fridge. Looking at the clock, he saw that it was already past ten O'Clock. Misaki went up to his room and changed into his night clothes and laid down in bed. Before closing his eyes, Misaki reached over and set his alarm to 9am. He _had_ to get up this time. As soon as Misaki closed his eyes, he began to fall asleep, his head filled with thoughts of the day had had planned with Usagi.

* * *

When Misaki hear the buzzing alarm the next morning he was up instantly. He had gotten nearly ten hours of sleep and he was now ready to have a good day with Usagi. Misaki knew himself that he usually was not the one in the relationship to initiate any kind of date or outing for the two of them to go on and decided that now was a good of anytime to start. Looking out the window, he saw the sky was blue and not a cloud in sight. The sum's warm, gentle rays bathed his skin in its soft light. Misaki felt positive. Going to his drawers, he took out a black shirt, blue jeans, and a light green jacket, and a new pair of underwear. He walked to down the hall and to the bathroom, where he took a quick shower. While getting dressed, he looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was half past nine. He had time and he knew that Usagi was home today. Once he was done getting dressed, he made his way down into the kitchen to make breakfast, he decided to keep it small, as he did not want to ruin their appetite for the huge picnic lunch that he had made the night before. He took the food to the dishes that he had placed on the table and began setting up the breakfast. As the clock struck 10am, Misaki heard Usagi's footsteps, coming in the dining area. He looked a little tired and bored for some reason, even after he had finished all of his work on time and when to bed two hours before Misaki had. Usagi took his regular seat at the table, Suzuki under his arm.

"Ohayou", Misaki said

"Ohayou", Usagi replied in a flat and tired voice

The two said their thanks for the food as they always did and began to eat. There was nothing but silence in the room as they ate. Neither one of them was talking. Usagi did not seem to want to talk and Misaki did not want to make the room tense in anyway by bringing up useless conversation. As they were eating, Misaki was thinking of what would be the right moment to bring up his plan to spend the day with Usagi. He had not even asked if the author wanted to go or not. Misaki shuddered on the inside. He was growing worried more by the minute. He did not want Usagi to feel irritated by him. But he was sure that Usagi would say yes. He did not have any work to do and the day was too beautiful to let go to waste. Nevertheless, Misaki felt nervous. He did not know how to bring up the subject. To get good place at the parade, Misaki knew that they would have to leave by 11:30. Despite his nervousness, Misaki felt very happy and exited at the thought of spending the day with Usagi. He missed they way they spent time together doing nothing but talking and sharing stories of their day. He just missed Usagi simply. He wanted to be with him as long as he could before he left tomorrow. Misaki winced at the reality that Usagi would be leaving. They continued to eat in silence, and were done shortly after. As Misaki fished placing the dishes in the sink to was, he noticed Usagi silently get up and begin the make his way over to the corner wall and retrieve one of his jackets that had been hanging on the wall. This caused a small panic in Misaki.

_Is he planning on going out today? No way! I was going to spend the whole day with him...I should have asked him last night...Now what do I do? I'll just ask him anyway. I mean he's probably just going to put his coat away...But..._

He needed to speak up now.

"U-Usagi-san!", Misaki burst out nervously

The increase in Misaki's voice caused the author to turn around and look at the younger male. Now that Misaki had his attention, he did not know where to begin. He never invited Usagi on a date before, so he was not sure what to say next.

"Um...", Misaki began. "I-I don't think that you should go out today", Misaki said

Usagi was looking up now skeptically. "And why is that?", Usagi asked with an unreadable look on his face

"W-well,I...", Misaki began but he was cut off as Usagi began to speak again

"Misaki..."Usagi began in his low voice, "I'm not staying home today. I am going to the company today so that I can get some work done."

"I thought you were done with all of your work. Plus Aikawa-san and Isaka-san said that you could take today off before you leave tomorrow so that you can relax before the meetings.", Misaki blurted out

"It's true that they told me I could take it easy today", Usagi said putting on his jacket. "But I have decided that I should spend the day working instead of fooling around.", he said

"O-oh", Misaki said looking down. "Um...why don't you just do your work in you room like you always do? I mean you said that you don't like going in if not necessary. ", Misaki inquired timidly looking at the ground.

_So he wasn't planning on staying home. I can deal with that I guess. But please...Usagi-san...stay here for the day. It doesn't matter to me if you're locked up in your room doing work...Just be here._

"I can't relax in this environment. I need some space", Usagi said

Misaki could feel his heart being tied into knots by an unknown force. It took all he had to not cry in front of Usagi. Bust he just felt so disappointed and sad. He worked so hard on the picnic they would eat. He wanted to view the flowers with Usagi and laugh with him. Now Usagi was telling him that he basically did not want to be with him. It hurt. It hurt a lot. Still looking down, Misaki began to reply in a shaky voice.

"W-well then, I guess it can't be helped huh?", Misaki said. "Um... you'll be eating out again right? Coming home late?" Misaki did not even wait for a reply, he just didn't want to hear Usagi's voice now. "I'll just eat without you again then", he said. "OK then", Misaki said looking towards the hallway. "I think I'm gonna take a shower. I know I just took one but I feel kind of sweaty so...yeah. Do you have everything you need? Don't forget anything important OK? Have a safe trip. Bye"

With that Misaki made a quick escape to the safety of the bathroom. Listening in downstairs, he heard the front door close. Misaki stripped off his clothes and hopped back in the shower for the second time that morning. Under the hot water though, he just couldn't relax. He felt horrible, like he had been punched in the gut. The hot water gave him refuge. No one could see him in the midst of the steam. The water continued to fall onto his body, soaking his naked body. Beneath the hot watter, his hair was matted and dripping the water down his face. This was a good thing in his mind though. With the water already running so hard, no one, not even himself could notice the stream of tears that had started to flow down his cheeks. The only clues to himself that he was indeed crying were the violent shudders of his small shoulders and the aching pain he now felt in his chest.

* * *

Misaki woke up in his bedroom hours later immersed in the darkness that were the walls of his ceiling. He was not sure when he had fallen asleep. In fact he could barely remember getting out of the shower and coming into his room. But just barely. The last thing he did remember was the crying. He cried a lot actually, more than expected. He did not know why he had cried so much. He had a semi fight with Usagi, but it was more like he was fighting with himself. He knew that he did not always express his feelings to Usagi like he should, but he could not help but feel angry at Usagi. Usagi knew that Misaki loved him, and yet he was making a big deal out of him not saying three simple words. Misaki was aware of how much those words meant to Usagi, but that did not give him a right to give him the cold shoulder. But Misaki knew that that was not the reason why he felt so angry at the author. The reason that he felt so angry was because Usagi had said that he did not want to be with him. He had worked very hard on the picnic so that they could have a pleasant day together before he left, but Usagi was upset with him, so he went off to work, which Misaki knew he hated. He was just sad, so sad that Usagi had left him. Walking out of his room, Misaki knew that Usagi was still not home. It was six O'Clock and Usagi was not supposed to be home till half past nine. He made his way into the bathroom and washed his face with cold water. Lifting his face up, he looked into the mirror. He could see the redness and swelling of his eyes. This would be a dead give away that he had been crying. He walked out of the bathroom and to the kitchen. In the freezer, he took out some frozen peas and held them to his eyes. It may not help with the redness of his eyes, but it would help to make his eyes look less puffy. Still holding the peas on his eyes, he opened the fridge. He was in the mood for some pudding. Whenever Misaki felt sad, he had the habit of eating something sweet. He was about to take a tapioca pudding from the fridge door when he noticed the food he had made for the picnic. Upon seeing it, Misaki immediately slammed the fridge door shut and scarfed down his snack in annoyance. He tossed the remains into the waste bin and was about to exit when he turned around and opened the fridge once more. He took out the food and set it on the counter and stared at it. Looking at it made him feel sad and angry. It angered him that he had put so much effort into something for Usagi and he acted as if he did not care. Usagi had not even given Misaki the chance to explain how he felt. Misaki could feel the anger growing inside of him. He did not want to look at the food and be reminded of his wasted effort. Tears of anger began to accumulate in his eyes. He took one of the containers full of food and dumped them into the trash. He did the same with the other two. At some point in the process, he actually reached in the containers and threw the food in, getting a little of his anger out with every toss. Misaki hated to waste anything, especially food and money, but he could not find it in himself to stop. He tossed out every single bit of food that he had made for the picnic. He even poured the freshly squeezed juices down the sink, throwing the containers in the sink angrily. Once he was done with that, he went up into his room and threw away all of the magazines and brochures that he used while planning their date, ripping them apart as much as he could. When he was finally finished, he sat on the couch and curled up against Suzuki. He had never thought that Usagi would act this coldly towards him and he was worried. He had no energy to fight for it anymore. Usagi was leaving in the morning to go to America. Misaki was sad, but he was powerless to stop it. He climbed the stairs back up to his room and locked the door. He did not go to sleep right away though. Instead he looked up into the pitch blackness of the ceiling, wondering of him and Usagi could push past this giant hurdle in their relationship.

* * *

Usagi came home a little past eleven O'Clock. Misaki did not know where he had gone or who he had been doing for the many hours that he had been gone, but it didn't really make a difference to him. Misaki knew that the reason Usagi had stayed out so late was because he did not want to be around him. Usagi was basically giving him the cold shoulder. He was angry, hurt maybe and Misaki had missed the chance he had to fix it. He was gong to Leave tomorrow and that was it.

* * *

Misaki had not slept well at all. He woke up at 3am, and he was hurting all over. His head felt as if it had been doing back flips all night. Misaki slowly and quietly raised himself out of bed and walked towards the bathroom. He did not have to use the facilities, but instead went to wash his face in cold water. He was through with using hot water to wash his stress away, it didn't work. He could almost feel Usagi slipping away from him. Misaki suddenly felt like crying again, but he pushed the tears away and made his way downstairs. He needed a cold glass of water. He just felt so...dry and brittle, he did not even know the reason. Pouring himself a glass of water, he began drinking immediately. The water felt cold and good against his throat. He poured himself another cup and began to make his way back to his room. However instead of going strait back, he walked towards the entrance to the apartment. Something by the front door had gotten his attention. They were suitcases, the suitcases Misaki had packed days before. Only instead of one, there were now three. Usagi must have decided to pack more than one an extra case since he knew he would now be gone longer than expected. The sight made Misaki feel vulnerable and shaken. Misaki glanced at the clock and saw that it was quarter past three in the morning. Usagi did not have to be up for another hour, to catch an early flight at five. Going back into the kitchen, Misaki drank that last of his water and made his way back up to his room. But he was not planning on going to sleep. Instead of going back to bed, he quickly and quietly got dressed and packed a small bag. Inside of the bag he put simple things. Some clothes, his toothbrush, cellphone and charger, manga to read, and money. The clock now said 3:50. Misaki knew that Usagi would be up in less than half an hour. Misaki had to get out. He did not want to be in the condo when Usagi left...when Usagi left him. The spare keys to his brother's home in his drawer was the last thing he took before closing his bedroom door behind him. Misaki wrote a quick note and place it on the front door, and quietly slipped out the apartment.

* * *

The chilly air in hit his face like needles of ice, it felt good on his skin, making him feel refreshed and fully awake. He walked briskly through the dark streets, wanting to clear his mind. He was happy to have a place to go. His brother would be surprised to see him...when he woke up that is, but he would welcome him. Takahiro was just that type of person. Kind and understanding. Misaki picked up the pace in his walking. He wanted to be be at least halfway to Osaka by the time Usagi got up. A gust of wind blew through the air, making Misaki shiver. Misaki just zippered his jacket up more and continued walking. It was about a twenty minute walk to the station, not that he was bothered by it. He knew he would be alright. There were early trains running early today and Misaki made sure that he had picked one where he would get to his destination at the stroke of daybreak. Misaki could see that train station in full view now. He veered a left and made his way to the ticket buying machines and bought a ticket. It was only slightly more expensive because it was very early in the morning. Misaki made his way to the platform and waited for his train to come. It didn't take long. Less than fifteen minutes later, the train had arrived. As he boarded he saw that there was barely anyone around. There were only two there people in the car with him. Misaki knew that it would be at least an hour long train ride, two tops to get to Osaka, it was the last stop after all. Misaki felt tired but he did not go to sleep. He stayed awake feeling glad that he would not be in the condo when Usagi left him.

* * *

Misaki arrived at his stop at a little past five. The sun was still not up yet, and probably wouldn't be for about another two hours, this didn't bother him though. It would be cloudy today. The darkness would make it easier for him to relax. He would not have to worry about how sad he looked. From the station it was about eleven miles to his brother's house. Even though his bag was not that heavy and he wasn't really tired, Misaki did not feel like walking. Seeing a phone booth, Misaki made his way inside and looked at the phone book. Using it he found a cab service that ran early and called for a cab. The cab came to pick him up in less than ten minutes, and delivered him to his Takahiro's and Manami's house in less than five minutes. Misaki paid the cab driver and walked up the short path to the house. All the lights in the house were still off, which was understandable. It was only 5:30 and everyone was indeed sleeping. Since he had made it this far, Misaki knew that he was not going to turn back now. He couldn't, he had no where else to go anyway. Misaki pulled out his key from his coat pocket and slipped it in the key hole. He turned the knob and slowly pushed it open, allowing himself entrance. Inside the house was dark and quiet, with no sign of anyone being up. Misaki was about to go upstairs, but then stopped himself. He did not want to wake up his brother and sister in law. His two year old nephew was probably enough of a handful for them to handle, and he did not want to cause any trouble. Instead he made his way to the couch and sat down in the dark, his bag on the floor next to him. As soon as his back hit the couch, Misaki found himself taken over by drowsiness. He was just...tired. Both physically from the walking and the long train ride and mentally from the situation that was happening with Usagi. He could feel the sleep taking over his body, his mind surrendering to the sleep. Misaki slowly closed his eyes and slept.

* * *

The next morning Misaki woke up the the worried face of his brother hovering over him, still in his sleep wear. His hair was messy and he did not have his glasses on. He looked at home. Misaki realized that Takahiro had been gently shaking him and calling his name to see if he was alright. Misaki slowly began to open his eyes further. At first he did not know where he was. Everything around him seemed groggy and unidentifiable. The events from the night before rushed back into his head as he remembered where he was and why he was there.

_Oh yeah...that's right..._Misaki thought. _I guess I had a fight with Usagi-san and I came to Ni-chan's to cool off.  
_

"Misaki?", Takahiro said. It seems that he had been calling his name for about five minutes.

"Huh?", Misaki asked rubbing his eyes

"Are you alright?", he asked looking worried. "I came downstairs to get some coffee and saw you sleeping on the couch. I didn't even know it was you. I was about to call the police", Takahiro said still looking at Misaki

"Oh. Sorry", Misaki said looking down. He felt bad that he had come over the their home without even asking.

"I guess I shouldn't have come", Misaki said getting up. He was about to head for the door when he he felt a hand place itself gently on his shoulder. Misaki turned his head to see his brother's gentle smile greet him.

"Don't be silly, Misaki", he said beaming. "You know that I am always glad to have you visit. And here I thought that you would never use the spare key that I had given you.", he said with a laugh.

Misaki felt relieved. He did not want his brother to be annoyed with him. He was already having trouble with Usagi already. And that was more than enough stress on him.

"But, Misaki", Takahiro said looking puzzled. "What are you doing here in the first place? I thought that you and Akihiko would be hanging out all summer."

Misaki was not prepared for the statement. The last thing that he wanted to do right now was talk about Usagi.

"Ah, Well", Misaki said rubbing his head and laughing nervously. "Usagi had to go to America. Something about his books being translated and published there. And he left this morning. And I didn't want to get in his way while he was leaving or anything, plus I didn't want to spend the first week of summer vacation alone in a big condo, so I just decided to pay you a visit. He'll be gone for about a month or so. But don't worry I'll only stay for a couple of days.", Misaki finished

"Oh, I see", Takahiro said smiling. He then wrapped his arms around Misaki in a fierce hug. One that was strong enough to make it hard for Misaki to breathe. He knew that his overprotective and doting brother had just made an appearance.

"Misakiiiiiiii", Takahiro gushed "It's just so good to see you! You have barely visited me and Manami! Oh and Mahiro won't stop calling out 'Mi-chan', every single day! he misses you too, not as much as me of course. Oh Misaki! let's have a lot of fun while you're here OK? You know what? Instead of staying for a couple of days, just stay the whole month Since it's summer, I don't have to work as much. We can go fishing, shopping, cook together, stay up late, sleep together, talk about our love life, and other stuff too!", he said beaming. Misaki's face was beginning to turn red from the lack of oxygen. His brother did not know how strong he was and Misaki was a small kid to begin with. He began to pat his brother's back to signal that he was having trouble breathing. Takahiro slowly lowered his arms.

"Ah, sorry about that", he said with his signature goofy smile

Misaki needed a minute to catch his breath from the intense hug that he had to endure. When he finally caught his breath, he looked up at his brother.

"Thanks for letting me stay here, Ni-chan", Misaki said smiling.

"It's no trouble, Misaki", he said. "Now let's get you settled in. You can have the spare room next to Mahiro's. I'll just have to put sheets on the bed for you. That sound good? Manami should be up very soon, she'll be happy to see you too. " As Takahiro was about to walk upstairs with Misaki's bag in his hand, he stopped and turned to look at Misaki. "Oh right, Misaki, that reminds me. Does Akihiko know you're here? I know that he cares for you like a brother, he could get worried if he calls home and you don't pick up"

"Um...well yeah...of course I told him where I'd be. I mean I'm not that irresponsible", Misaki said laughing nervously.

_I did leave a note after all. Besides, it's not like he would care anyway. He's acting like a jerk to me, so I left. A written message is just as good as a verbal one. _

"Oh right, Sorry Misaki" Takahiro said laughing again. I still see you as my baby brother. I worry too much I guess. OK now up to your room with your things", he said walking up the stairs again.

Misaki decided that he would stay for a couple of days and if everything looked inviting, he would just stay for the entire month. He knew that Takahiro and his wife would not mind if he stayed there. It _would_ be nice to spend some time with his brother, sister in law, and nephew. And when the month was almost over, he would go home to Usagi and set things strait. By then he knew that his head would be clear and all his thoughts would be sorted out. Misaki felt safe here. He could spend time with Mahiro and buy souvenirs. He was in the mood for some salted salmon all of a sudden. He followed Takahiro up to his room and unpacked his small bag. He had enough clothes to last him for the whole time he may be here. He could wash his own laundry. When all his things were put away, Misaki sat on his bed and looked at the window. Even though him and Usagi were not speaking, he missed Usagi. The clock said half past ten. Usagi should have left five hours ago. It was a long flight to America, nearly one day. Misaki really wanted to hear Usagi's voice, but he was not going to allow himself the luxury. Besides he knew that people couldn't use personal phones on airplanes. He decided to make himself busy tidying up the room instead. He cleaned out the closet, cleaned under the bed, and swept the floor. When he was done he made his way downstairs, where he was greeted by Manami

"Misaki-chan!", Minami beamed smiling. The older woman walked over to Misaki and gave him a welcoming hug. "It's so good to see you! It has been a while since your last visit", she said

"It's nice to see you too, Manami", Misaki said smiling

"Takahiro told me that you were here, but you were up in your room so long that I though that you fell to sleep. I'm sorry that you missed breakfast", she said

"That's alright. I don't mind", Misaki said. "If you want I can help you make lunch and dinner instead", Misaki offered.

"That'd be great", she said

The two began to make lunch for the three of them. Manami, Mahiro, and Misaki himself. By the time they were finished Mahiro in white shorts and yellow shirt made his way to the kitchen. Apparently he had broken free of his play pen.

"Mi-chan!", Mahiro called when he saw Misaki standing in the kitchen. The little one waddled in the room and threw himself on Misaki's knee, hugging it as hard as he could. Mahiro really did miss him after all.

"Mi-chan!", the boy called out again looking with at Misaki with adoring eyes.

Misaki was so delighted that he stopped what he was doing and picked up the younger boy, holding him to his chest. Misaki could hear Manami chuckle

"Well, looks like someone missed you", she said, smiling and continued to cook.

* * *

The rest of the days were filled up by family activities and multitasking. Takahiro took Misaki to lots of new places that he had never been during his last visit. They went shopping, ate together, played, games as a family, and looked at the sights. Misaki did not want to just laze around the house all day, so he did chores and played with Mahiro to keep him entertained. As it turned out, Mahiro was really attached to Misaki and liked being with him. Misaki cooked dinner on many occasions when Manami slept in or was out with Mahiro. Manami said that she would like Misaki to teach _her _a thing or two about cooking. Sometimes they all went out to eat together. There was a nice seafood restaurant near them that that affordable and delicious. Takahiro knew that Misaki loved seafood. They talked, laughed, and goofed around with each other everyday. Misaki decided that it would be OK for him to stay for more than a week after all, which made Takahiro happy. The days flew by. Each day more fast than the last. Being with Takahiro took his mind off his relationship with a particular author. Misaki was happy. But even though he was enjoying himself, he missed Usagi a lot. Misaki had not received a call from Usagi since he left the condo. Misaki knew that he was busy with work, but it still bothered him a little. But Misaki did not want to think about that because he had not called Usagi either. A week turned into three very quickly. Misaki knew that he would have to leave the following week, he had promised himself that he would. He did not want to overstay his welcome. He knew that Takahiro and his family loved having him over, but it was about time that he let them go back to being a family of three. Takahiro was married now and had a family of his own.

One evening after Misaki, Takahiro, Manami, and little Mahiro had finished eating dinner, Minami walked over to Misaki, her hand holding something out to him. It was his cell phone.

"Misaki, I think you dropped this", she said hading the phone to him. "I found it hidden in the couch in a crack between the pillows.", she stated.

_I guess it slipped out of my pockets when I fell asleep._ Misaki thought

"I don't mean to pry but maybe you should turn it on. Some of you friends my be trying to contact you and they may be wondering where you are. And it looks as though you have not used it since you got here", she said. Misaki remembered that he had turned it off so that he would not call Usagi, but did not consider that his other friends, like Sumi-sempai may be trying to get in touch with him.

"Thank you. Sorry for you having to bring it to me.", Misaki said

"It's alright" she said. "Good night, Misaki", she said as she finally closed the door behind her.

Finally alone, Misaki began to walk to his bed, ready for sleep. Sitting down on the bed, be opened his phone and turned it on. He had some missed calls alright, over twenty. In the missed calls section, Misaki noticed that Sumi, Aikawa, and some of his other friends had called him. But the one number he was looking for was not there. Usagi had not called him even once. Misaki plugged the phone into the charger and laid down in his bed. He fell asleep, not even fully in the covers.

* * *

Misaki was sleeping for only three hours when he was woken up by the sound of his cell phone ringing. It took him a while to open his eyes. He was still tired. Looking at his clock, he saw that it was eleven O'Clock or one O'Clock. Misaki couldn't tell, his eyes were still blurry from sleep. Before he had a chance to reach for his phone and see who was calling, the ringing had stopped. Misaki was about to ease himself back down and go to sleep, when his phone began to ring again. He picked up the phone and looked at the caller ID. It said unknown. Misaki did not usually pick up calls from unknown senders, but he was groggy and not really thinking. Pressing the talk button, Misaki put the phone to his ears and spoke.

"Hello?", he said sleepily

"_Misaki..."_, a familiar and cool voice said

Misaki found himself suddenly awake.

"U-Usagi-san?", Misaki asked.

"_Who else would be calling you this late?", _Usagi asked, sounding annoyed

"_Why did you leave?" _Usagi asked, irritated.

"Huh? What do you mean?", Misaki asked trying his best to come up with an excuse.

Misaki heard Usagi sigh over the phone.

"_What I mean..."_, Usagi began. _Is why you deliberately left while I was sleeping and only left a note saying that you were going to stay with Takahiro. That's what I **mean"**_, Usagi said. Misaki could hear him getting irritated, which made Misaki feel a little angry himself

"What do you care?", Misaki asked. "I'm just trying to stay out of your way", Misaki said annoyed

"_Do you think it's alright for you to just get up and leave whenever you feel like it? All you left was a god damned note on the door. When I looked in your room this morning, you weren't there. You didn't even bother to tell me you were leaving. It's just plain irresponsible.", _Usagi said

"Well, maybe I just didn't want to be around someone who acts like they hate me. You were acting like a jerk all week, so yeah I left. You're in America and I'm with Ni-Chan. It's not like you wanted to be around me anyway", Misaki added

"_When did I ever say that I didn't want you around? Are you an idiot? All I did was go to work. You're the one who said I should go in the first place", _Usagi said

Misaki was starting to feel angrier by the second. Usagi was acting as if he had not done anything to Misaki. He was ignoring the fact that he had an ignorant attitude towards Misaki for weeks.

"Don't act as if you didn't do anything, Usagi-san!", Misaki said. "You've been acting weird to me for weeks. You treated me like I was a stranger who-who you wanted nothing to do with!", Misaki said raising his voice. You start acting so cold and untrusting towards me and I don't even have a clue why!"

"_You should know why, Misaki", _Usagi growled in a low tone_. "You're never honest with your feelings to me. You have taken on some kind of behavior that hates me. You won't let me kiss you, touch you, and you NEVER tell me that you love me...not anymore. When I told you how I felt, you avoided the conversation and did not offer an explanation. You're the one who ignored ME. I don't even know what I want anymore!", _Usagi said

Usagi's words felt like a knife in his heart. It made him feel cold to the bone

_'I don't even know what I want anymore...'_

Suddenly, Misaki felt angry. Angry at Usagi. He didn't even know why. He could feel his emotions rising to the surface. He did not want to let them out, but it seemed that it was already too late to stop them.

"Usagi-san...", Misaki began. He did not even recognize his own voice. It was calm for some reason. Too calm for how he really felt inside. "Do you even know how _I _felt for the last couple of weeks. The way that you treated me...how-how you acted so cold. It was like hell. I really thought that I would die."

"_M-Misa..."_, Usagi began but Misaki cut him off.

"Do you know what it felt like?", Misaki asked. Tears were falling down his face now and he couldn't make them stop.

"Usagi-san...you wouldn't even look at me. It was like-like I didn't even matter to you. I felt like nothing, like I didn't even know who I was anymore. You don't even know how anxious I felt, scared, upset." Usagi had not said anything while Misaki was speaking. "I hate it when you're disappointed in me and-and I-I..." Misaski could not even finish the sentence. He broke down crying over the phone, Usagi listening to everything. He felt so stupid. Before he would hide the fact that he was crying, but not this time, he didn't care.

"_Misaki...",_Usagi said but Misaki started speaking again.

"When I heard that you were leaving for America, I was sad...B-but I knew that it was for work, so I was happy for you. Wh-when I packed your bags for you, it wasn't so that I could make you leave quickly, It was so that we could have more time to spend together."

"_A-ah, I see"_, Usagi said.

"I thought that if I did all the packing for you, then we could spend the whole day together before you left"

"_Is that why you told me to stay home that day? Misaki I'm sor-"_

"I-I made a picnic and planned a whole day where the two of us could view the cherry blossoms since we missed it last time", Misaki said interrupting Usagi again. "B-but you didn't want to be around me and I ended up throwing away all the food I made out of anger", Misaki said with a short bitter laugh.

"_You made that food?"_, Usagi asked. _"I saw it in the trash but I didn't think that-"_

"No" Misaki said, his voice shaking. "You just didn't care!", Misaki burst out, crying harder. The tears were flowing down his cheeks now, tears stinging his eyes.

"_Misaki...we-we need to talk. I-", _Usagi began only to be cut off once more by a crying Misaki

"So Usagi-san...Is-is this OK? You have all the space you want right? I mean that's what you wanted right? Space. Time away...away from me. I-I bet you're happy that I'm not around."

"_Misaki...no", _For once Usagi had very little to say. Misaki's crying seemed to have made him unable to think.

"_Misaki...I-I'll come home and-"_

"Don't force yourself! Stay in America as long as you want! I-I couldn't care less! D-don't call me anymore! I-" Misaki was cut off by another burst of tears and crying. He couldn't stop.

"_Misaki! We need to-"_

"S-stop it! Y-you..stop twisting my emotions!"

"_Misa-", _Usagi began

"-You". Usagi did not hear Misaki's full sentence., his voice was lost in his tears. Misaki spoke again, louder.

"I hate you! I hate you so much! I wish I-I wish I never fell in love with you. No I-I wish I never met you! I-I just wish you would go a-away! I hate you, Usagi-san!"

"_MISAKI!_, Usagi called though the other end, but it was too late. Misaki hung up the phone, took it off and threw it against the wall. He was crying so hard now. He knew that his crying could wake up his family in the house but he just couldn't stop it. His tears kept flowing. Tears of anger towards and Usagi and tears of hate towards himself. He cried himself to sleep, feeling empty and hallow. He did not want to wake up the next morning.

* * *

The next couple of weeks passed painfully and slowly for Misaki. He had planned to leave a week before the month was up, but decided against it. He wanted to put off seeing Usagi as much as he could. But the month drew to a very quick close and Misaki knew that he would have to leave. If he stayed too long Takahiro and Manami would get suspicious. They would start asking questions and wondering why he suddenly wanted to stay with them for such an extended amount of time. The last thing he wanted was for them to catch on to his sudden change in attitude. Misaki was already acting strange enough as it is. All he felt like doing was sleeping and did not go out much. He knew that he was acting depressed and mopey. Misaki did his best to put on a happy face for his family but inside he felt as if he had been broken, as if he had lost some part of his very being. He did not want to bring his family down with him, so he decided that it would be best if he left. He waited six days, after the start of the new month to gather his belongings. At dinner he announced that he would be leaving on the next train to Tokyo the next day. Takahiro was the first to speak up.

"Really? You're welcome to stay as long as you want. You know that, Misaki.", Takahiro said looking sad

"That's right, Misaki" Manami agreed. "You're family. And it's so sudden too.", she said

"It seems like just yesterday you came here. We enjoy having you here so much. But if you really want to go back to Akihiko's, then I won't stop you. But geez, sometimes I think that you like him more that you do your own brother", Takahiro said laughing.

At the mention of Usagi's name, Misaki just looked down at his plate and stuffed a fork full of food in his mouth. More thoughts rushed into Misaki's head.

_I...why am I even going back? I mean aren't we...broken up? Isn't that what I did, broke up with Usagi-san? Do I even really belong there anymore?_

* * *

In the morning, Misaki was ready to leave. He wanted to get to the condo early, preferably while Usagi was still sleeping, so that he could put off facing him for a couple more hours. Takahiro had earnestly offered to drive Misaki at least to the station, but he refused. His brother had been so nice to him already. It did not seem fair for him make him wake up in the wee hours of the morning to take him anywhere. Misaki had all of his bags packed the night before and he was already dressed by four in the morning. Takahiro really didn't want Misaki to be taking the train so early in the morning, but Misaki had his mind made up. Outside the cab was already waiting for him and Misaki was out out the door in a matter of minutes. The cab drive to the station was silent and quick as it had been last time. Misaki paid the cab and hurried to buy his ticket. He made his way to the platform, where he was the only one waiting. He was glad. The silence was comforting. The train arrived and Misaki boarded, but this time he kept his eyes open, looking at the darkened scenery as he passed.

* * *

Misaki arrived at his neighborhood and walked to the condo he shared with Akihiko. He saw that most of the lights in the building were off, with only a few exceptions. He took the elevator up to his apartment and punched the entrance pin in. he slowly opened the door and walked inside the dark apartment. There did not seem to be any sign that anyone was awake, which made Misaki feel relieved. He had a few more hours of solitude before he had to face Usagi. Misaki slowly made his way up the stairs and into his room. Misaki felt tired, he did not even bother to take a shower. He was too tired and besides that he did not want to risk waking Usagi. He should have arrived back home fours days ago. Misaki undressed and put on his sleeping clothes and climbed underneath his warm sheets. The clock struck six as Misaki closed his eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

Misaki woke up the next morning to the sun bathing him in a bright light from his window. Misaki got up and closed the curtains shut, dimming the room. He was definitely not in a sunny mood. Putting on his slippers, he made his way downstairs and looked around cautiously. Deep down, he was scared to see Usagi, not wanting to hear what the author had to say about their last conversation. But he knew he had to do it. Looking in the kitchen, Misaki saw that Usagi was not there drinking his usual morning coffee. Misaki decided to check the living room next. There was not any sign of Usagi there either. He went upstairs and even took a quick peep in the bathroom, but nothing. There was one last place that the author may be and Misaki knew that he had to try it. Misaki walked down the hall and towards Usagi's bedroom. Misaki put his ear to the door and listened. He heard nothing. He gently knocked and the door and waited for a reply from the other side. All he got in return was silence, Stepping backward, Misaki thought about what his next move should be. He knew that he could not avoid Usagi forever and thought that it would be best if he were the one to take initiative in the conversation this time. Taking a deep breath, Misaki turned the knob of the bedroom and pushed it open, letting himself inside. The room was dark as usual and Misaki could not see anything. Inside the room, he felt like an intruder who was not welcomed. He reached over and put on the lamp on Usagi's desk. There was no one in the room with him. The bed looked as if it had been made for a long period of time. No one had slept there for a good couple of weeks. He saw Suzuki on the chair next to the bed, in the same position Usagi had placed him before he left. It was strange to Misaki.

_He's not even here...no more like he never came home at all..._Misaki thought to himself

For some reason, Misaki felt very disappointed. He was still angry with Usagi but he had wanted to see him make it clear to himself that they were really...over. Misaki felt his chest hurt when he realized that they were basically no longer a couple. Misaki walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. As he made his way downstairs, more thoughts ran through his mind.

_Could it be that he did not come home because he doesn't want to see me?_ The thought made Misaki's chest start to hurt again. Misaki suddenly felt very thirsty. He needed some water. Misaki made his way to the kitchen and poured himself a tall glass of water. He drank all of the water in a matter of seconds and was about to make his way back upstairs to brush his teeth when the house phone range. The ringing of the phone was loud and foreign to Misaki. He had not been here so long that he had forgotten what the phone here sounded like. Misaki quickly waked to the living room and picked up the phone on the fifth ring.

"Hello, Akihiko residence", Misaki said into the phone

"_Misaki-kun! I have been trying to reach you for over a week!"_, Misaki heard a woman's voice say. It was Aikawa and she sounded frantic and worried.

"Oh well...yeah. I was at my brother's for a while and my phone...uh...stopped working.", Misaki lied. "Is there anything wrong? You sound kind of strange.", he added, drawing attention on how frantic Aikawa sounded.

"_Misaki...it's terrible...Usami sensei...he..."_Aikawa trailed off. But Misaki had heard more than enough and was now completely alert, at the mention of Usagi.

"Aikawa-san! What's wrong? What happened to Usagi-san?", Misaki asked, worried.

"_He-he was in an accident...it was a car crash..."_

Misaki felt his heart stop. Everything around him seemed to stop.

"Wh-what?", he asked, the terror setting in.

"_It was raining...hard about a week or so...And there was a car that just...crashed into him. I don't know __what happened exactly. Usami-sensei...he called right before he was hit. He-he said he needed to go home...I-I don't know why. He-he just...Misaki, he's in the hospital...We don't know how badly he's injured. But...the doctors say that for now...he-he's not going to wake up...we-we don't know if he is going to wake up",_Aikawa finished, her voice shaky

_Hated...I told Usagi-san that I hated him...what the hell was I thinking? I-I told him that I never wanted to see him again. W-was he driving home in the rain to-to see me? _The nightmare of his parents dying in a horrible car crash because of Misaki flooded into his head. He could not live another nightmare like that.

_No...no, no, please. Not Usagi-san. Anything...No..God no...this shouldn't be happening. This can't be happening. _

Misaki felt dizzy, he felt sick. He lost feeling in his entire body. He wanted to scream and just break down in angry tears that would wash away his feelings. His head was spinning in circles and he didn't know what to think anymore. But he did know one one thing, the only thing. He needed to get to where Usagi was.

"A-Aikawa-san", Misaki said. "Which hospital is he in? Where are you?", Misaki asked, already thinking of getting a bag of his clothes together.

"_R-right now, Usami-sensei, Isaka, and I are in Manhattan...In America"_

Misaki knew that America was a long way from Japan. He did not have a lot of his own savings or money, but he didn't care. He was _had_ to go to America, no matter what. He didn't care what he had to do, he'd stow away on an American ship at the port of he had to.

"I-I'm coming there. I'll try and leave tomorrow. No...I _will _leave tomorrow. I don't care how...but I will be there" Misaki remembered his money situation and began to lose confidence, but was still determined.

"_Misaki-kun.."_Aikawa said, touched. _"Maybe-Maybe...I can help you...you know, get you transportation to New York. I might be able to book you an express flight. That way you'd get here faster..."_

Misaki could feel his heart beating faster in his chest. He knew that he was being troublesome to Aikawa, making her go through so much just to get Misaki in New York, he knew that he was being selfish, but it didn't matter to him now. All he cared about was seeing Usagi and being there for him.

"Aikawa-san...Thank you...thank you so much...", Misaki said, his legs giving in underneath his body

"_It's alright...out of everyone you are the one who needs to be here the most... I am going to see if I can get you a plane to New York tonight. You won't need a ticket. I'll have someone pick you up at around seven. Misaki-kun...get your bags packed...you're going to New York"_

* * *

Misaki spent the next two hours packing three bags full of clothes, towels, and other essentials. He called Takahiro and told him that he would be staying with a friend in Hokkaido. Misaki did not want to cause his brother to worry. When he was done packing, he couldn't find it in himself to sit still for even a second. He was fidgety and jumpy, and worrying about Usagi. He spent the rest of the day walking up and down the house for no reason, always making sure to stay with the phone for a while every five minutes. As the clock drew closer to seven, Misaki began to worry. Aikawa had not called back since she said that she was going to get someone to take Misaki to the airport.

_What if Aikawa-san couldn't get me transportation after all? What-what if I won't be able to see Usagi-san?  
_

The thought of not seeing Usagi again made Misaki feel sick. He wanted to just shut himself inside of Usagi's room and lie in his bed, surrounding himself in Usagi's scent. But he knew better than that. He wanted to be strong for Usagi and himself. Misaki continued to wait in silence. Quarter past the hour, Misaki heard the buzzer for the intercom and pressed the button to see who it was. A man wearing a navy blue and white uniform was on the screen.

"_Takahashi__ Misaki?. Hello, My name is Saturo. I am from the international traveling center. I am here to escort you to your plane."_

"Ye-yes!", Misaki answered quickly. "I'll be right down!", Misaki said turning off the intercom and grabbing his bags from the living room. He threw on his jacket, placed the door on auto lock mode and was out the door in a matter of seconds. Misaki quickly pressed the button for the lobby floor and waited impatiently to get to the floor he wanted. It was times like this that he wished Usagi's apartment was not on the twentieth floor of the condo. When he reached the lobby, he was surprised to see the uniformed man already waiting for him.

"Takahashi-san", the man said bowing politely

"Sorry for the wait", Misaki said. He was not used to people bowing to him. The only one who had done it was Tanaka-san, the butler at Usagi's estate, but he had stopped after Misaki said he didn't have to (though he did occasionally anyway)

"May I take your bags sir?". The driver asked

"Oh well you don't...", Misaki began but the man gently pulled two of the bags out of his hands and now held them in his own.

"Please, I insist sir", he said politely, taking Misaki's third bag

"Well thank you, sir", Misaki said

The man smiled as he began lugging the bags out of the apartment complex, walking quickly.

"Miss Aikawa was right when she said you were a good kid", the man said still walking.

"R-really?", Misaki asked

"Oh yes, she told me to see to it that you were taken care of in the best manner", he said

As the two turned a corner there was a blue car waiting for them on the street. The car looked as if it had been brand new. It was elegant, yet very simple. Aikawa must have remembered how Misaki hated being in vehicles that drew too mush attention, otherwise she would have had a limo pick up Misaki. She was being very considerate and kind. Misaki was grateful for her. The driver took the bags around back and placed them in the trunk. Coming up beside Misaki, he opened the car door and gestured for Misaki to take his seat in the back. Misaki thanked him and entered. The driver then made his way around the driver's side and started the engine. He locked the doors and backed the car up into the street, headed for the airport. Misaki took one last look at his home before the looking away ,not wanting to see it fade away in the distance.

* * *

The care ride to the airport was pleasant, even though Misaki himself still felt sad on the inside. Him and Saturo made small talk to pass time, but the twenty minute ride seemed as long as ever to Misaki. There was heavy traffic today for some reason, enlonging the drive to the trip. Nonetheless, he was still grateful for the distraction. After a twenty minute ride, Tokyo National Airport came in view, its large structure and surrounding buildings towering over everything else near it. Saturo drove into the car lane of the airport to get though to the plane station bay. Misaki was a bit skeptical however. He did not know how he was going to get to New York. He didn't even know when the next plane going there was.

"Excuse me...", Misaki asked looking out the window. Saturo was showing the booth manager his pass to continue to the plane station.

"Yes, sir?", the driver asked

"I was wondering how I am going to board the plane...um...I-I don't have a ticket or anything so...", Misaki trailed off

"Oh, not a problem sir", the man said smiling. "Aikawa has taken care of that".

_I guess he has my ticket then..._, Misaki though relaxing a little

Saturo continued driving though the station. All the cars in front of him had veered a right when they arrived at the last booth. That was where the cars were parked and the waiting area was. But instead of making a right when reaching the booth, the driver showed another pass and continued going strait. Misaki was surprised, he did not know where they were going at all. They were now driving through a dark tunnel where no other cars could be seen, all that could be heard was the sound of the wind pushing up against the car. A light suddenly came into view and they drove up to what looked to plane runway. The runway was huge and secluded, the only other person that was in sight was a man in a pilot's uniform with hands behind his back standing patiently at the side of the plane, facing them. Misaki noticed that the plane in front of them was smaller than a normal plane and to make things even stranger, he did not notice anyone standing in line waiting to board. Before he knew it, Saturo had pulled up to the plane and got out to open the door for Misaki.

"Uh...what's...?", Misaki asked but the driver was already at the trunk taking Misaki's bags out and carrying them to the plane. Saturo climbed up the staircase and disappeared into the plane. Misaki did not know what was going on. He turned to see the pilot slowly walking towards him, his right hand already extended for a handshake. Misaki bowed quickly and met his right hand with the pilot's.

"Hello, Takahashi-san", I am Yamada Keichi", the pilot said politely. "I will be your pilot for your flight. I will fly you to New York with the utmost of care", he said. Misaki introduced himself and bowed again. The pilot began to speak again, filling in more information about his trip. "We also have a flight attendant that will bring you your food and see that you are properly accommodated." He said. Saturo returned from aboard the plane. He just finished putting away Misaki's bags in the luggage compartment. He joined Misaki and the pilot on the ground once again.

" Takahashi-san", Saturo said "it has been my pleasure escorting you", he said bowing

"Oh, you're leaving?", Misaki asked

"Yes", he answered. "I was only instructed to drive you to the airport. Everything else has been taken care of."

Just then the pilot broke into the conversation, already holding out his hand to Misaki to help him. "Takahashi-san", he said. "We must leave now if you want to make it to your destination by tomorrow", he said

"Oh, alright...but I still don't have a ticket", he said looking down

"That's alright, sir. For this flight you don't need one", the pilot said

"A-and we're leaving now?", Misaki asked. He was confused. Usually at airports, you would have to wait at least two hours before you can even set foot on the plane, but here he could just walk in.

"Ok but...what about the other passengers? I don't see them yet. Are they already on board or...", Misaki's sentence was cut off by the sound of light chuckling coming from the pilot. Saturo had a slight smile on his face.

"Takahashi-san", he said looking amused. "There are no other passengers", he said still smiling

"Huh?", Misaki asked confused

"This is a private plane that has been reserved for your travel only. Therefore you are the only passenger who will be on board", the pilot finished.

"P-private?", Misaki stammered

"Yes. Aikawa-san called me up today and asked me if I could fly you to New York. I have flown her and her writers a lot of places over the years. I owed her a favor anyway, plus I'm on vacation now, so I have time", he said

Misaki was taken aback. He did not even think that Aikawa would get a _private_ plane for him. He didn't even know she could in the first place. She must have had connections like Usagi did. The pilot then put an hand on Misaki's shoulder.

"Takahashi-san", he said smiling. "Shall we depart then?"

"Ah, yes!", Misaki said

"Takahashi-san", Saturo said. "Have a safe trip. I wish you the best", he said, bowing. He then got into his car, gave one last wave goodbye and drove off.

The pilot helped Misaki to board the plane, reassuring him that it was indeed very safe. When they boarded, they were greeted my a woman will blonde hair.

"Hello, my name is Arisa. I will be you're personal flight attendant", she said.

"Right this way, sir", she said nicely. "I will help you get situated." Misaki followed the woman to where he'd be sitting for the flight. There seats were comfortable and cozy. Arisa buckled his seatbelt and brought him things to read. The area was very clean and spacious. She then explained that there was both a private bathroom and bedroom on board of the plane for him to use. She would bring him his three meals and any other things that he wanted. It was better that first class. A plane ride like this must have cost a fortune. Thinking about the actual price made him feel a little lightheaded. With a final bow, she left him alone was off. With nothing to distract him, Misaki was now deep in thought on why he was going to New York in the first place. He was going to see Usagi and stay by his side. That was the only thing that mattered now. No... it was the only thing that mattered period. The only thing that Misaki was thinking about was Usagi and how he needed to get to him as soon as the skies would let him. Looking out the window, he could see the plane's wheel's slowly raising off of the ground. He was leaving Japan and going to America. He promised himself then and there that he would not come home without Usagi.

_Usagi-san...I'm coming..._Misaki thought. With that final thought the plane took off into the sky

* * *

The plane flew through the darkening skies in silence, Misaki eating his dinner and then going to sleep afterwards. Sleeping seemed to be the most difficult part of the entire trip. Though the room was lavish and comfortable on the plane, Misaki was barely able to sleep. He had grown so accustomed to being wrapped in Usagi's strong,secure arms while he slept and not that he was not there with him, sleep was just something that he could not do. Aside from that, the 14 hour trip for Misaki was comfortable and pleasant, he was allowed to have as many meals as he wanted and everything was just elegant. It was great, something you could remember forever. At least that's what anyone else would have thought if they were flying to New York City first class in a private plane. But not Misaki. His thoughts were on Usagi and wondering as to whether or not he would be able to see him. The young man went through quite a roller coaster of emotions while on the plane. He was worried for his lover, sad that the author had gotten hurt in an accident, and angry at himself for treating Usagi the way that he had. Misaki could remember how he felt that night over the phone. He was angry, upset with Usagi because the author had been acting so cold and distant because Misaki had not said he loved him as much as he should have. The argument over the phone turned heated and Misaki said things that he knew were not true. Like how he wished Usagi would go away and that he hated him. Looking back on it now, the young man felt terrible to the max. Misaki now wished that he could take back all the words that he said to his beloved, but he knew that it was impossible. Now that it was said, it would linger until matters were settled. What Misaki hated the most was the idea that Usagi may not make it through his accident and the last thing that he hear from Misaki was that he hated him.

* * *

The plane landed at the LaGuardia Airport in Manhattan at 9:30pm the next evening. Misaki had just finished catching an extra six hours of sleep on the plane. Even if it was an uncomfortable sleep, it was something that would get him through the next couple of days. Misaki knew that he was not going to get much sleep when he landed. It was just a feeling that he had. When the captain announced that he has arrived at his destination, Misaki took the opportunity to peak through the window where all he saw were bright lights and thousands of people walking. Misaki noticed that the architecture was different than Tokyo's. Looking at the clock again, he was reminded of how late it really was. Misaki remembered that Aikawa had told him to call her as soon as he landed so that she could pick him up from the airport and bring him to the hotel. He waited another five minutes before pulling out his phone and calling Aikawa. On the fourth ring she answered.

"_Hello? Misaki-kun! Is that you?"_, she asked

"Yes, its me Misaki. I just wanted to tell you that I am at the airport now", Misaki informed her

"_Alright! Give me ten minutes and I'll be there". , _she reassured him

"OK, I understand. I'll be waiting by the C gate.". They said their goodbyes and hung up. Misaki thanked the pilot and took the moving sidewalk to his gate. Sitting down, he felt exhausted. He head hurt and he had no feeling in his legs or butt. He put his bag on the floor between his legs and bent his head back, placing his hands over his eyes. He was just tired, he felt as though he may fall asleep at any moment. Just as he felt his eyes closing, he heard a voice.

"Misaki-kun!", a woman's voice said

Taking his hands off eyes and looking towards the direction of the voice, he saw Aikawa. She looked tired and disheveled. She was dressed differently from her normal business attire, wearing black slacks and short sleeved black turtleneck, with black flat slippers. Misaki could see the bags that were under her eyes. She had definitely not been sleeping lately. Misaki stood up and walked over to her, dragging his bags behind him.

"Aikawa-san!", Misaki said waving. After walking shortly, Misaki was now standing in front of her. As soon as he was in arms length, the older woman pulled him close and hugged him affectionately. Misaki did not even hesitate to return the hug. He was just so relieved to see her. They stayed like that for a moment and after a couple of minutes, the two broke apart.

"Oh, Misaki-kun!", Aikawa said. "It's so good to see you here!", she said. Aikawa was happy to see Misaki as well.

"It's all thanks to you Aikawa-san. You're the one who set up the plane ride. I would not be here without you...Thank you", Misaki said. He could feel his eyes getting watery again.

"Let me help you with your bags", she said taking a bag off of his shoulders. In a matter of minutes, the two were walking in the cold night air towards the car. Once they reached it, Misaki quickly loaded his bags in the car and the two set out on the bust streets of New York. To Misaki everything looked different and new. There were so many lights and stores everywhere. He was fascinated by how everyone seemed to have a place to go even at such a late hour. Everything just looked interesting. Misaki would have liked to go everywhere in the bright city taking pictures and sightseeing, but he had different things on his mind. The only thing that held any significance was Usagi. He was the sole purpose why Misaki was there. Misaki had so many questions to ask Aikawa. He wanted to know how long he had been in the hospital, what his condition was, how he was being treated, and so much more. But he knew that Aikawa was already tired, so he just decided to make small talk to pass the time until they reached the hotel. Aikawa must have caught on to this because she began looking at him worriedly. The light ahead turned red and the care halted. Looking ahead, both of them could see that like Japan the road was deep in traffic. The only difference was that it was night. Aikawa took this as a chance to speak to Misaki

"Misaki-kun", she said. "It's alright to ask about him you know. You must be worried right? I don't mind, so ask me", she said looking at Misaki

"Is-is Usagi-san going to be OK"?, Misaki asked

Aikawa looked ahead. "To be honest, Misaki-kun, we're not really sure. He...does have a few broken bones. His right leg is in a cast and he has five broken ribs. He has been in the hospital for a couple of weeks so I don't even know what to think..."

"Aikawa-san...has Usagi-san woken up yet"?, Misaki asked. He could heard his voice trembling

"Misaki-kun...", Aikawa started

"Has he?". Misaki was feeling anxious

"No...not yet. He...he is in a coma, has been since he got there. Misaki-kun I-". Aikawa was not able to finish. Misaki was crying with his face buried in his hands. He couldn't stop

"Misaki-kun...", Aikawa said as she placed her hand on his for comfort. "I'm sure that Usami-sensei will be alright. He has to. There is no way that he would ever leave you."

"Aikawa-san...I...Me and Usagi-san had a fight. I-I said things that I shouldn't have", he said crying. "I told him that I hated him...that I never wanted to see him again. A-and I know that I am the reason he was in the accident. He was coming to see me because we had a fight. I-if Usagi-san dies...then-then...it's my fault", he finished

"Misaki-kun! This is no one's fault. It was an accident...just a really bad accident. You don't have to blame yourself!", Aikawa said

"B-but, I..."

"No Misaki-kun! Don't you even think about it! It's not your fault. He will make it through this, so you can apologize then", she said with a reassuring smile

"Can-can I see him tomorrow?", Misaki asked, still sniffling. Aikawa frowned

"I know at you want to but...are you sure that you can see him like that? He-he's pretty banged up. And I don't...

"Please, Aikawa-san! I know that I'm causing trouble for you but...I want...I want to be with him.", Misaki said pleadingly

"Ok...I'll take you to see him tomorrow. As soon as they allow visitors.", she said

"Thank you", Misaki said. He began to look out the car window again while they were driving. They were both tired. Misaki did have more questions, but he decided that he would hold off on them. He just to think about what he would do tomorrow. He was going to see Usagi and that was all that mattered

* * *

The next morning Aikawa woke Misaki up at 9am. She said that he could see Usagi if he still wanted to. He just felt so helpless. Even Isaka, who was no longer even in New York was helping Usagi by manging all of his business at Murakawa publishing. Misaki sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. He was still tired. He could not sleep the night before. His mind was filled with confused thoughts and he had been crying for most of the night. Aikawa let Misaki fall asleep on her lap while she talked to him to ease his suffering. Misaki was glad that she was there with him. But even with that, Misaki still found himself unable to sleep. Misaki slowly got out of bed and went to the bathroom to get dressed. The New York apartment was large and very spacious, almost as big a Usagi's condo. Looking in the mirror, Misaki saw dark circles under both his eyes. Yep, he was tired all right. But Misaki wanted to see his lover no matter what. He was going to go even in he had to drag himself there on his knees. Misaki brushed his teeth and quickly got dressed, not even bothering to shower. He was in a hurry and he felt anxious. When he returned Aikawa was ready to go even before Misaki. She had the car warming up outside and handed him a toasted bagel in the doorway, knowing that he had forgotten to eat anything. In a matter of minutes they were in the car on that way to to the hospital.

* * *

When they arrived oat the hospital, Misaki began to feel nervous. He did not like the way that hospitals made him feel. Every time he was in one it just reminded him if the horrible death of his parents when he was only eight years old.

_They died in a car crash on a rainy night...just like what might happen to Usagi-san_

Before Misaki could stop himself he had let the horrible thought creep into his head. The thought that Usagi may not live long chilled Misaki to the bone. He felt sick and dizzy. His urge to see his lover grew only more intense. Misaki and Aikawa walked down the hospital corridor to the front desk. Aikawa was talking to one of the nurses stationed at the desk in English. Misaki could not understand, and even if he did he would not be listening, as all his thoughts were now focused on where Usagi was, just as they had been all week. Misaki was spacing out so much that he did not even hear Aikawa calling his name.

"Misaki-kun?", Aikawa said looking worried. "Usami-sensie can have visitors, but he is still not conscious. Come on, his room is on the fifth floor.", she said

"Yes", was all that Misaki could answer

The two walked side by side in silence. Misaki did not know what Usagi would look like when he arrived at his room but he knew that he would have to see for himself. He suddenly felt very scared. Without even thinking, Misaki found himself reaching for Aikawa's hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. He felt her own fingers latch between his, giving Misaki much needed support. Hand in hand, they took that elevator up to the fifth floor and walked down another hallway. They stopped in from of a room that seemed to be isolated from all the rest. Misaki somehow already knew that they author would have gotten a private room, no matter what nation he was in. glancing at the door, Misaki was able to see the room number was 545. it was one that he would have to remember, he knew that he would be coming here a lot.

The sound of Aikawa's voice slightly startled Misaki.

"Misaki-kun, today the nurse said that Usami-sensei could only have one visitor today. You should go in.", she said looking serious.

"What? Aikawa-san I...", Misaki could feel his heart beating faster

"Misaki-kun, it will be alright. Don't worry. You need to see him. Stay as long as you need to. If you need me just call.", she said handing him a cell phone. "My number is in the speed dial, so just press two alright?". Aikawa gave Misaki's have one last reassuring squeeze and disappeared down the hall. For a few moments, Misaki just stood there looking at the door. He wanted to go in so badly, but he felt as if he somehow did not _deserve _to. Taking a deep breath, he turned the handle and pushed the door open, stepping quietly inside. As he close the door, his eyes looked around cautiously. The room was large and filled with flowers, probably all from Aikawa because she knew that Usagi would not want a lot of people to know about the accident. His eyes slowly traveled to the bed on the far end of the room. It looked so far away even though it really wasn't. Misaki slowly made his way over to the bed and bent over to see his lover. Misaki felt shocked at what he saw. The author was hooked up to a breathing mask, his breathes coming out strained. His leg was in a white cast elevated slightly and his right arm was in a cast. Usagi's chest was exposed, showing the various wires and cords that were connected to it. Most of his limbs were hooked up to IVs that were supplying them with morphine to help subside the pain. Misaki could feel his eyes growing red and filling with tears. But it was when Misaki looked up to Usagi's face that made his heart lurch. The author's face looked gaunt and ghostlike. His cheekbone had become too apparent and showed too much to be healthy. His eyelids looked lifeless and discolored. There were various scratches and bruises all over his face, much like were all over the rest of his body and he lips were opened slightly, the bottom one split. His head was bandaged and bruised. Misaki wanted to touch him so much, but felt scared that one touch could break his lover. He looked to fragile and easily broken to Misaki. But he could not stop himself from doing so. Reaching one shaky hand towards the author, Misaki gently caressed Usagi's scratched cheek with the back of his two fingers. It was such a light touch, Misaki felt as if he had been touching only air. The younger man's large emerald green eyes filled with tears at the touch. Misaki knew that he had already cried too much even before he had made the trip and his had promised himself that he would be strong for the both of them, but that did not stop the tears from coming. He could not control them. There were slowly coating his cheeks in a warm streak of tears. Misaki found himself crumples on the floor, shaking uncontrollably with sobs. Despite his urge to cry loudly, he held it in as much as he could, fearing that a hospital personnel would come and separate him from Usagi.

"I'm sorry", he choked through his tears. "I'm so sorry, Usagi-san"

He stayed on the floor crying until visiting hours were over. Luckily, Misaki picked himself up from the floor just as a nurse came in and told him visiting hours were over. Misaki called Aikawa and asked her if she could pick him up. She was there in a matter of minutes with the car ready.

"Misaki-kun, are you alright?", she asked

"Aikawa-san...I-I broke down in there...When I saw Usagi-san...I don't know what happened. But I'm going to see him again tomorrow again. Can I see him tomorrow?", he said looked up.

"Of course you can. I'll make sure of it", Aikawa said looking positive.

* * *

The next day Misaki got up at the 8am so that he could get there as soon as visitation was allowed. The routine was pretty much the same as yesterday's. He planned to get up and leave, the only difference being that Aikawa made sure that he he showered and ate breakfast before leaving. She drove him to the hospital in record time and walked him to the door before going off on her own. Aikawa already told him that she would no longer stay when he was visiting. She thought that it was a good idea that he do this on his own. She wanted to give Misaki privacy with his lover. But she made sure to give him a hug everytime before leaving. Misaki walked into the room and sat down on the chair in front of Usagi's bed. He was somewhat happy with himself. This time around he did not even hesitate to walk up to the bed. Misaki stared down at at Usagi's limp hand hanging loosely on his chest. He gently picked up Usagi's large hand and placed it between his own hands, which were so small in comparison. Usagi's hand felt cool as they had always felt between his. Misaki stayed like that for more than two hours, gently caressing Usagi's hand. Just touching him made Misaki feel happy. Before Misaki knew it, he found himself speaking gently to the unconscious author.

"Usagi-san...I-I'm sorry that you were hurt. I know that it was my fault even though Aikawa-san tells me different. I just can't seem to believe it though."

Though there was no response from the author, as was expected, Misaki felt comfort in talking to Usagi.

"Before...the last time we spoke to each other...we had a fight didn't we, Usagi-san? I said some pretty stupid things didn't right?", Misaki added with a weak smile. "Um...I don't know why exactly I said those things to you. I guess I was just feeling frustrated at myself for not being able to express my feelings. I'm childish...I know it. I have a lot of growing up to do so that I...I have the right to call you my lover. I sometimes say cruel things to hide my embarrassment. So when I-I said I hated you...I didn't mean it...at all. That was the most stupidest thing I said to you! It-it's just not true...I-I just...I don't know. But my feelings for you have not changed since the day I met you. Usagi-san, I love you...I really love you...so...please don't-don't leave me. Stay with me.", Misaki pleaded quietly as tears silently steamed down his cheeks. Misaki put his head down and buried his face in the sheets that smelled like a mixture of Usagi's scent and the smell of hospital. But something made Misaki stop and slowly picked his head up. It was pressure...a gentle pressure, so soft that you might not even be able to notice it. Misaki's eyes were now fixed intently on Usagi's hand that he held between his own. And then he saw it. Usagi's hand was lightly squeezing Misaki's. After a minute his hand when limp again. Misaki could not believe what had just happened. Usagi, who was in a coma, had squeezed his hand. Misaki felt happiness beyond anything that he could describe. He wanted to scream Usagi's name, seeing if he would respond, but he knew better. He would wait until Usagi opened his eyes on his own.

* * *

Misaki arrived at the hospital the next day an hour later from than he usually would get there. He wanted to pick up presents for Usagi. At a gift shop in front of the apartment, he bought lightly sweetened chocolates, a teddy bear, a teddy balloon, and pink roses. He had wanted to get baby romanticas, but no where seemed to have it, so he settled for those instead. Both Misaki and Aikawa were feeling more positive than the day before. Aikawa was jumping with joy when Misaki informed her of the response that he had gotten from Usagi the day before. As usual Aikawa dropped him off at the door and left. Misaki walked in and set the presents on the table and quietly sat down. Misaki immediately picked up the author's hand and placed it between his on as he had done yesterday and began his hushed conversation with the unconscious author.

"So, Usagi-san", Misaki began. "You really surprised me yesterday. You sure have habit of doing that", he added with a laugh. His voice grew gentle. "You know...it-it made me happy to feel you squeeze my hand. I was just...relived. I miss you, Usagi-san. I miss the way you touch me. Even though I yell at you all the time when you do I-I do like it...a lot. I miss the way that you look at me too. And I miss your voice...I really want to hear it...it's just...I've grown so used to hearing it that it's become a source of comfort to me. I guess I just miss everything about you in general actually...so hurry up and wake up OK? I'll make you lots and lots of eggs.", he added with a smile

Just then a nurse walked in. She looked a bit startled to see Misaki. The woman said something that Misaki could not understand so he didn't know how to respond. By her features so looked Japanese though. The woman seemed to have detected a confused look on Misaki's face so she spoke again. This time in fluent Japanese.

"Hello", she said with a smile. "I'm this patient's nurse. Nice to meet you.", she said taking Misaki's free hand and shaking it. Suddenly Misaki felt a little shy.

"Ah, sorry...do I have to let go of his hand?", Misaki asked still holding Usagi's

The woman laughed. "Oh no, sweetie. It's fine. I'm just here to pick up his chart.", she responded picked up the clip board at the foot of the bed. "Are you a family member?", she asked looked at the chart

"Oh no. Well, I...I'm actually his-his lover", Misaki finished, blushing deeply. But he did not turn his eyes away.

"Oh, it that right?", she asked. "Well, I have good news for you. He seems to be doing better. Must be your company that did the trick.", she said sweetly. She said goodbye and left. Misaki turned back towards Usagi.

"Usagi-san...you have to wake up OK? Please... "

For the rest of the visit. Misaki stayed holding Usagi's cool hand to his forehead and praying that he would open his eyes.

* * *

The days continues like that for the most part. Misaki's summer schedule now consisted of waking up, eating breakfast, showing, visiting Usagi, eating some more, sleeping. And if not for Aikawa, Misaki knew that he would skip the eating and sleeping part. When he was at the hospital Misaki would hold Usagi;s hand and just talk to him. It had become a regular thing now. Most of the times he did not stop his conversation even when a nurse or the doctor walked in. It had been a couple of weeks since he had arrived in New York. Misaki had to lie to Takahiro, telling him that he and some of his friends were in Okinawa sightseeing. But it was fine for him as long as he could stay with Usagi. And Usagi did seem to be getting better. Misaki noticed that color was slowly returning to Usagi's face, which made him happy. Misaki was not even bothered that much by the fact that he had taken so much time off of work. Here with Usagi, in a place where he could keep his eyes on him just made Misaki feel serene and at peace. One one particular day, Misaki was following his usual routine of holding Usagi's hand and speaking sweet words to him. Today it was different from the other random things he talked about with him. It was more attentive and sweet. Usually Misaki would tell Usagi that he needed to waked up and how much he missed him but today it was more like he was telling the unconscious author how much he really loved him and needed him. Misaki was glad that they had extended visiting hours today. He would stay with Usagi for as long as he could. The nurse walked in tapped Misaki on the shoulder. It was the same nurse from before. Misaki had learned her name was Shika and that she was a Kyoto native. She was half American and where her parents divorced, her mother and her moved here for a fresh start. Misaki had guessed that her family was very rich, seeing that that they had enough money to start their loves over in a new continent. They got along well. Misaki and her even had conversations themselves. She placed a new chart at Usagi's bed and spoke.

"Takashi-kun. It's nine O'Clock. Visiting hours are over for today.", she said, looking at him

"Oh. Alright", Misaki answered. Misaki was going to move but for some reason his body wouldn't listen to him. Misaki knew that he had to leave, but both his mind and his body were telling him differently. His hand refused to let go of Usagi's.

"Takashi-kun.?", the nurse asked

Misaki blinked. "Wha?...Oh...I-", Misaki started

"Takashi-kun", the nurse said. "Please...let me talk to the staff. I think I can get them to let you stay in his room tonight. I'll be back in a moment." Without another word she left through the door. After ten minutes, she came back, blankets and two pillows in her hands.

"Takashi-kun. I talked to some people and they said that you could stay the night. Haha it's funny everyone who works here seems to have seen you and know who you're here for. Here, I brought you some blankets and pillows.", she said handing them to him. "You're so dedicated. You come everyday from morning until visiting hours are over and you're always holding his hand. You must really love him right?", she asked

"Y-yes", Misaki answered. "Yes, I love him very much", he fished with more confidence

"Well, then I'll give you two some privacy. Goodnight", she said.

"Thank you, Shika-san", Misaki said and she gave a quick bow

She turned off the room lights and closed the door. Misaki called Aikawa and told her that he would be staying the night at the hospital. She immediately understood and said that she would call him tomorrow.

There was couch at the far end of the room, but Misaki decided that instead he would sleep in the chair, so that he could be close to Usagi. Pulling the chair up the the bed, Misaki laid one of the blankets over his lap and shoulders and placed a pillow behind his head. Misaki was about to doze off when he felt the he forgot something. Maneuvering his chair a little closer, Misaki reached over and took Usagi's hand and cradled it between his two hands. Now he felt as if he could sleep. Misaki lifted Usagi's large hand up to his lips and gently kissed it.

"Good night, Usagi-san. Please...wake up soon." With that Misaki fell asleep holding Usagi's hand.

* * *

Misaki woke up five hours later in the middle of the night. Reaching over and locating his phone in the darkness, Misaki looked and the time and saw that it was half past two in the morning. He felt like he really had to use the bathroom. Quietly getting up, Misaki made his way to the room's bathroom. When he was finished, he washed his hands and dried them on his towel. He then made his way back to sit down in the chair and put the blankets over him. Misaki closed his eyes but could not fall asleep. He was not tired. There was a large screen TV in the room with but he didn't really feel like looking at it. Sighing loudly, he pushed the blankets off his lap and placed his elbows on Usagi's bed.

_If I can't sleep, then I guess I'll just be looking at you for the rest of the night_

Misaki took cradled Usagi's hand in his and relaxed.

"Usagi-san, I know that I'm repeating myself...but I really hope you open your eyes soon. I know that I'm probably the last person that you would want to see but...please...just open your eyes. You were right when you said that I don't tell you how I feel enough...but if you live...I promise that I'll do better alright?" Misaki placed Usagi's had to his cheek.

"Usagi-san...I'll say it again. As many times as I have to until you wake up. Usagi-san...I love you"

Just then, Misaki felt Usagi's hand squeeze his own. Harder than he had done last time. Misaki looked up and saw that Usagi's eyelids were flickering slightly.

Misaki could not believe what he was seeing. He was thinking of calling for the nurse, but could not make any noise come out of his mouth. The older man then slowly began opening his eyes. Misaki felt his own fill with tears.

Usagi began to slowly turn his neck so that he would face Misaki. He grunted in pain as he did so.

"Urghh", Usagi groggily grunted

"Ah! Usagi-san...Please...don't move too much. You could hurt yourself. You're still stiff so relax. I'll go and get a doctor so-"

"M-Misaki? I...W-What are you...Why?...How? What are you doing here?", he asked, his voice sounding scratchy.

"I-I heard about what happened to you s-so I-". ,Misaki began to cry silently. His shoulders convulsing as he wept

"Misaki...what's wrong?", the older man asked, with worried eyes

"I...it's just...it's nothing. I-I'm just relieved that's all." Misaki sniffed. "I'm sorry...I'm being loud a-and you need to rest. Let me get the doctor. I-I need to tell him you're awake." Misaki got up from the chair and out the room. Going to the nurse's station, he saw Shika. Misaki was glad that she was working late tonight. When she saw him she smiled.

"Takashi-kun, what is is?", she asked

"Usa-Akihiko...He's awake. I just thought I should let someone know", Misaki said

"Oh, that's great. Congratulations Takashi-kun. I'll go check on him and get the doctor."

Misaki just nodded. Shika was already gone in the direction of Usagi's room. Misaki himself decided that he would wait in the waiting room for a while until they were finished. Sitting down in the waiting area, he began to think about what he would say to Usagi now that he was awake. He didn't even know where to begin.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, nurse Shika came to get Misaki.

"Takashi-kun, you can go back to Akihiko-san's room now. Everything seems to be fine with him.", she said

"Is he alright?", Misaki asked

"Well yes really. "In the time that he's been here his broken limbs seemed to have healed, along with his ribs. We will be able to take the casts off in another four days. And then from there, all he'll need is a month of therapy and antibiotics for his cuts. You must be so happy.", she said

"Yes, thank you", Misaki answered.

They parted ways and Misaki headed back for Usagi's room. Making a quick detour, Misaki called Aikawa and told her the details on Usagi's condition. She had told him to call her as soon as he got any updated. When he told her, she was ecstatic. Misaki could imagine her running up and down the room jumping. She told Misaki that she would come and visit tomorrow and they said their goodbyes and Misaki quietly went back inside of Usagi;s room. Unconsciously, Misaki was hoping that between him being gone and taking a phone call that Usagi would be sleeping when he got back. He slowly walked up to the chair and sat down, not wanting to make any noise. Looking over, Misaki saw that Usagi's eyes were closed. He let out a sigh of relief and slumped down into his chair.

"Misaki?", a low voice said.

"U-Usagi-san? What wrong? You should be resting", he said

"No...I...We...we had a fight", Usagi broke out

"We-we can talk about it later", Misaki said

"No...please...I just need to...now", Usagi pressed on

The older man seemed to have his mind made up so Misaki gave in.

"Alright...But only for a couple of minutes. You're still weak, so you need your rest"

"I...I'm sorry Misaki...I never meant to make you feel like you did.", Usagi let out

"Usagi-san...please...please...just get some rest rest. We can talk when we get home. Just...go to sleep. It's enough alright...later", Misaki said pleadingly

"Alright then, when we get home", he said as he positioned himself to sleep. "Misaki...", Usagi said

"Y-yes?", Misaki responded

"Could...I mean...will you hold my hand...like you were doing before?", he asked sleepily

A-alright", Misaki said as he took Usagi's hand into his own. He watched the older man fall asleep

* * *

The next morning, Aikawa came just as she had promised. She brought three dozen bouquets of flowers to give the author. She was very excited and a little loud to say the least, but despite this and the older man constantly telling her to shut up, Misaki knew that Usagi was happy to see her. He even seemed to be grateful to her when Misaki told him that Aikawa was the one who arranged for Misaki to come to New York after he had asked her to. What was more surprising was that the author thanked her for it. Misaki and Aikawa could not tell if it was him or the drugs that were doing the talking anymore. Misaki himself was just happy that Aikawa was there to distract Usagi from talking about what had happened back at home. Even though Akihiko had promised to hold it off until they returned home, he looked as if he was just edging to bring it up at any time. Misaki had to admit to himself that he was scared. There was a lot to be scared of for him. Misaki had already promised himself that he would be honest with Usagi and himself. When the time came, he was going to tell all his true feelings to his older lover. The mere thought of it made Misaki nervous. He felt as if he was going to put himself on display naked in front of a window. But if he were going to put himself on display, it was going to be in front of Usagi.

* * *

For the next couple of days, things seemed to be moving along in a positive direction. All of Usagi's bones had healed properly and his casts were finally taken off. His cuts and bruises also seemed to be healing nicely. He was now starting his rehab sessions. Misaki made sure that he went to all of the sessions so that he could give Usagi support. Everyday Misaki would sit in on the sessions and hold Usagi's hand while he did painful stretching and exercises. Whenever the older author fell, Misaki would help up. It was a routine for the two of them. They never really spoke to each other about the fight they had had and Misaki was somewhat relieved at the fact. After all he was not quite ready to do so. But one thing inside of Misaki did change and he felt it too. He realized that his biggest fear was losing Usagi. Every now and then he would recall the phone call that he had gotten from Aikawa telling him that Usagi had gotten into the accident and he felt cold every time he remembered it. Misaki decided that he would cherish Usagi from now on. But he was unsure as to whether or not Usagi and him were still a couple. Misaki did remember all the things that he had said to his lover the night they had the fight over the phone. Usagi never actually said that they broke up but Misaki just didn't know.

* * *

Before Misaki knew it a month had passed. It had seemed like just yesterday that Misaki arrived in New York and he knew that the time for returning home was quickly approaching. One afternoon, Aikawa and him were in Usagi's hospital room sitting in on one of his many routine checkups. The nurse took Usagi's blood pressure and listened to his heartbeat, and finally said that everything seemed fine. Usagi seemed to be healthy again. Aside from a slight limp, he was walking on his own normally. After Usagi finished his daily walking exercises, Misaki helped him sit down on the chair next to his bed. Nurse Shika walked up to them and began to speak.

"Hello Misaki, I see you're still as dedicated as ever", she said with a laugh. "Well anyway, I am here to just give you an update on Akihiko-san's condition." Aikawa walked over to where they were standing to hear the news. The nurse began to speak again.

"We've been doing tests and checkups on him for quite a while", she said "Let me be the first to say congratulations. Akihiko-san will be able to leave the hospital tomorrow. You just have to sign some final paperwork and he will be discharged in tomorrow afternoon", she said placing a comforting hand on Misaki's shoulder.

"This is great!", Aikawa squealed as she hugged Misaki tightly. She pulled out her phone and dialed a number.

"Hello...Isaka-san? Great news. Usami-sensei is leaving the hospital tomorrow! Yes I know, isn't it great? He is perfectly healthy. Now I can have him working on his next BL novel by tomorrow!" she cried out happily.

Misaki reached over and gently tugged on her sleeve, looking up at her innocently.

"Ah...actually Isaka-san, maybe I'll have him start on his work in another two weeks instead", she finished smiling at Misaki gently.

* * *

The next day Misaki and Aikawa came to the hospital and packed up all of the author's items. Aikawa helped him dress while Misaki loaded everything into the trunk of the car. Once the room was clear of all the author's things, Aikawa then helped Usagi to the car but Misaki made a quick stop before going to join them. Misaki took it upon himself to personally thank all the doctors who had helped Usagi, shaking all their hands. He then made his way to the nurse's station to looked for nurse Shika. Upon finding her, she smiled at him.

"Looks like this is it huh?", she said

"Yes...I just wanted to thank you for taking such good care of Usagi-san. Really. Thank you", Misaki said bowing. He held out his hand to shaker hers but instead was pulled into a hug.

"Take care of yourself sweetie", she said warmly. "I'm so happy for you"

"Thank you", Misaki said returning the hug

The two said their final goodbyes. Misaki gave one last wave before walking to the elevator and into the lobby, making his way out the doors and into the car that was waiting for him outside.

Once they arrived at the hotel, Misaki and Aikawa helped Usagi out and to the room. Misaki had wanted Aikawa to stay with them so she booked a new suite that had two bedrooms and two bathrooms. That way they could both take care of the author. The older man seemed to have gotten back to normal after a few hours of sitting on the room couch looking at television. After a while he turned it off and turned to face Misaki and Aikawa, who were beginning to pack things.

"Since we're here already why don't we go sightseeing?", the author declared

"Usami-sensie, you just got out of the hospital. It's only been a couple of hours!", Aikawa said

"It'd be a waste not to. New York is home to some of the most interesting museums and sights. We could go to the art gallery or see the statue of liberty."

"Usami-sensei! You just got healthy again. Don't try to make yourself ill to get out of work!", she said

"Well, you don't have to come", Usagi said coolly. "Me and Misaki could go. It could be romantic", he said.

"No Usagi-san!", Misaki said. Aikawa and Usagi both turned to look at the younger man. They had not expected him to say anything.

"Misaki-kun?", Aikawa asked

"You're not going anywhere! You need to rest some more so stay put. Tomorrow we're going home and I expect you to take at least three days of bed rest alright?", Misaki said

"I don't need rest. I've been in the hospital long enough. A couple of hours of walking won't kill me", he said

"Usagi-san...I mean it", Misaki said looking serious.

The tone in Misaki's voice threw the two older people off guard. They were in silence for a while at the sudden change in his voice. The older man did not say anything else.

"W-Well, there you have it then, Usami-sensei", Aikawa said breaking the silence. "Me and Misaki-kun are going to finish packing up.", she said leading Misaki back towards the rooms to pack.

Even Misaki was surprised at himself. He had never spoke to his lover that way before. It reminded him of how a parent speaks to their children when they won't listen. The attitude came out of him before he even had a chance to stop it.

_I guess I'm just worried about Usagi-san's well being., _Misaki thought

For the rest of the evening Misaki and Aikawa packed up everything that was in the rooms including all the author's clothing. The plan was that they would leave the next morning so that Usagi could spend the next couple of weeks getting some more rest at home. Aikawa had already booked a flight back to Tokyo at seven the next morning and had already had three first class tickets. (much to Misaki's terror) By the time they finished packing up and checking the rooms, it was time for them to go sleep. They would have to be up early so that they could catch their plane. As he was coming from the bathroom from washing up, Aikawa appeared in front of him.

"Misaki-kun, are you OK?", she asked with a concerned look on her face.

"Huh?...Oh Yes. I'm fine Aikawa-san", Misaki answered.

"Misaki-kun...if something is bothering you, you can tell me. I know that it must have something to do with Usami-sensei so you can talk to me.", she said

"Well, I-I'm not sure what is going on with me. I just have such an anxious feeling whenever I'm around Usagi-san. I don't know why. It kind of feels like it's a combination of the fight we had and the accident that he was in. I don't even understand myself", Misaki said.

"I know that Usami-sensei loves you, so you don't have to worry there but if you're feeling worried about anything then you need to talk it out with him. But I am also here if you need anything", she said.

Misaki knew that he loved the older man...but it was him who was the problem in this case. He was avoiding every emotional aspect of their relationship, which was tearing it apart.

"Thank you Aikawa-san", Misaki said.

"It's fine. Now get some sleep. We have to leave tomorrow.", she said turning to leave

"Aikawa-san?", Misaki asked.

"Yes?", she said turning

"Um...tonight...could you sleep in Usagi's room? I know I'm really asking a lot but...I-I just don't know how to act around him right now. But someone needs to be there if he needs help...I guess I am being selfish...", Misaki said.

After thinking for a moment, Aikawa answered.

"No problem. I just need to think of an excuse to tell him", she said with a laugh. They said goodnight to each other and parted. Misaki went to Aikawa's room and she went to Usagi's (to sleep on the second twin bed of course). Misaki turned off the lights and laid down in Aikawa's bed, which smelled of her sweet perfume. Misaki found comfort in the older woman's sweet smell and slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The next morning the Aikawa, Misaki, and Usagi prepared to leave. While Usagi was waiting in the car Misaki and Aikawa did one last check of the room. Once they were sure that everything was out, they checked out and met Usagi in the car. Aikawa insisted on driving, saying that Usagi should not be allowed to drive because he had just recently gotten out of the hospital. She made sure to drive slowly, being conscious of the fact the the author had just gotten into a car accident himself. Aikawa had made sure that she had gotten them all up early so that she could have ample time to do just so. And that in Misaki's view is saying something because he knew it was absolutely hell getting the older man up at any time in the morning. Once they arrived at the airport, Aikawa went to return the rental car while Misaki waited by in in the plane service lobby with the luggage and Usagi. The two did not really say anything to each other while they waited for Aikawa to return. They just stood in silence next to each other. Misaki was relived when the older woman finally returned. He was just felt so nervous for some reason. Misaki knew that when he got home, he would have to face Usagi and would not be able to avoid the difficult conversation that awaited them.

When they boarded the plane, it was really the same thing. Misaki had avoided making any eye contact with Usagi, despite the older man's attempt to communicate in some way. Misaki could not find the strength tin himself to do so, at least not yet. He just felt so many emotions going through him that he was scared to let them all out. He had always found it hard to express himself. The twelve hour flight back to Japan went by in a haze. For Misaki the hours consisted of sleeping, eating, using the bathroom, and checking on Usagi. When the plane finally did land Misaki was sleeping.

"Misaki-kun...", a far sounding voice said. Misaki slowly opened his eyes to Aikawa. She was gently shaking him. Rubbing his eyes, he looked up at her sleepily.

"Misaki-kun..."she said again. "The plane's landed. We're home", she said smiling

* * *

Aikawa drove Misaki and Akihiko home late in the afternoon. By the time they had finally arrived it was nearly six O'Clock. She aided Misaki in helping Usagi up to his condo and helped settle him on the couch.

"Misaki-kun, I know that you will take good care of him", she said

All Misaki did was nod

She gave Misaki one last smile before leaving.

Misaki was finally alone with Usagi. He took off his coat and called his brother to tell him that he had returned from his trip. Hanging up the phone, he noticed that Usagi was no longer on the couch. Just then he heard a crash come from the kitchen area. Misaki rushed over to see the older man leaning on the counter, staring at a broken glass on the floor.

"Usagi-san!", Misaki cried out. "Are you alright?", he asked worriedly.

"I'm fine", Usagi responded. "I was just a little thirsty but my leg hit the glass when it was on the counter and it fell", he said.

"Baka Usagi! If you need something you should just call me and I'll get if for you!", Misaki said.

He took another glass from the cupboard and poured cold water in it, handing it to Usagi.

"Here. Take this to the table and drink it while I clean up this glass", he said to the older man. Instead of waiting for a reply, Misaki led the older man to the table and slowly sat him down in a chair. He then hurried to see to the glass on the floor. Once he was finished, he went back to check on Usagi, who had finished drinking his water. He took the glass from Usagi to wash and returned shortly.

"Usagi-san, are you hungry?", he asked concerned.

"No, I'm fine",the older man responded.

"You look a little pale. Maybe you should lie down", Misaki said.

"I feel alright", Usagi said.

"Are you sure? Maybe you should at least-"

"Misaki, I said it's fine!", the older man said.

"Oh...ok", Misaki said "I think I'll go to bed then", he said. Just call me if you need anything", Misaki said looking away.

"You always do this...", a low voice said. Misaki turned to look at Usagi who was slowly getting up.

"W-what?", Misaki asked.

"You're always avoiding having hard conversations with me. All the way here you've basically ignored me. We haven't even talked about the fight we had.", he said looking at Misaki.

"I-I didn't mean to. I just...I don't know", Misaki let out.

"Last night...you asked Aikawa to let you sleep in her room. Why did you do that?", Usagi asked looking at the younger man.

"I-I'm not sure", Misaki said.

"Do you hate being around me that much?", the older man asked.

"Usagi-san..." Misaki wanted to say more but he could not find the words.

"Maybe it would have been better if I never came home at all", Usagi said with sad eyes.

At that moment Misaki's mind filled with the feelings of pain and sadness that he felt when he found out that Usagi was in a car accident.

"No!", Misaki cried out.

"Misaki?", Usagi asked. The younger man's sudden outburst had surprised the older man.

"Y-you don't understand anything!", Misaki screamed. He then scrambled up the stairs and slammed the door behind him. Misaki placed threw himself on his bed and buried himself in his sheets.

_Why...why doesn't he understand? _Misaki asked himself

Before he knew what was happening, he had fallen into a light sleep.

* * *

_Looking around, Misaki saw that he was back in the same hospital in New York, everything white around him. In a corner sitting on a chair he saw Aikawa. Her shoulders were hunched over and her body was shaking. She was crying. _

"_Aikawa-san...what's wrong?", Misaki asked placing a hand on her arm. His voice sounded like an echo._

_But Aikawa did not answer. She just kept crying uncontrollably. Raising one shaky hand, the woman pointed in the direction of a door. On it were the numbers 545. The room that Usagi had been staying in at the hospital. He slowly walked over to the door and turned the knob, letting himself in. It was then he heard it. The steady long beep of the electrocardiogram. Someone's heart had stopped beating. Misaki knew that something was very wrong. He began to rush over to the bed that seemed to be so far away. He was just in arm's reach when the doctor stood in his way, holding him gently by the shoulders. _

"_What's going on?", Misaki asked. The doctor remained silent as held Misaki's small shoulder's, keeping him from going any further. Then it hit him. Everything was put together. Aikawa crying, the hospital, the room number. It all led Misaki to asking one question._

"_Usagi-san...", Misaki's came out as a whisper. "Where is Usagi-san?!", Misaki asked frantically. The doctor then finally began to speak, his voice low and full of pity. _

"_Unfortunately...Akihiko-san did not make it. He...he died. I'm sorry" _

"_N-no! This...this can't be true! He-he came home..on-on the plane", Misaki stammered out. But he could not remember anything anymore. It was hard to tell what was real._

"_Takashi-kun", the doctor said in a low voice. "You're wrong...Akihiko-san...he never woke up from comatose"_

_Misaki felt the blood stop cold in his veins. Nothing seemed real to him anymore. At that very moment his heart felt as if it had shattered. And then the tears came. Hot tears came streaming down his cheeks. They were endless._

"_Usami Akihiko is dead", the doctor said._

"_No...no...Noooooo!", Misaki screamed pushing past the doctor and making his way to the bed. On it there was a person whose face covered with a thin white sheet. With trembling hands, Misaki pulled sheet off of the unknown person. And it was none other than Akihiko, Misaki's lover. His face was white and he was still, no movements coming from his chest. Slowly Misaki placed his head on the the author's ridged chest and listened. There were no movement coming from his chest. There was no air entering and escaping from his lungs. There was no heartbeat. There...was nothing. Now Misaki was crying uncontrollably, barely even able to make out any words. He took the older man's head and cradled it to his chest sobbing. _

"_Usagi-san!", Misaki screamed crying. _

"_Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!", he screamed. _

"_Usagi-san, Please! Don't leave me!" he wept. _

_But there was no response from the author and there never would be again. _

"_No! Usagi-san!", Misaki screamed crying. _

Misaki woke up in his bed sweating profusely. He and his sheets were drenched in his sweat. Slowly reaching up ,Misaki brought his hand to his eyes. They were wet with tears. He felt cold and was shivering uncontrollably. Remembering his dream, tears began to fall. Misaki wiped them away but in avail, as only more streamed down in their place. Misaki lost all his sense of control at that moment and he just let himself cry. Loud sobs and whimpers escaped his mouth, despite his effort to try to hold them in. He wanted desperately to be with Usagi at that moment. Before he even knew what he was doing, Misaki's mouth was moving on its own. He opened it and one word came out.

"Usagi-san...", he said quietly

"Usagi-san". He said louder, more tears coming

"Usagi-san!", Misaki yelled. He was crying and could not stop

Usagi-san!", Misaki screamed

Suddenly Misaki heard his bedroom door swing open and Usagi appeared in the doorway holding a coffee mug, holding on to the door handle for support

"Misaki...", he said worriedly "What's wrong?", he asked looking concerned

"I-I...Usagi-san...", Misaki said looking up. The older man immediately focused in on the younger boy's tear streaked face. He put his mug on the night stand and sat on the edge of the bed. Usagi reached over and gently caressed Misaki's face with his large hand.

"Misaki...tell me what's wrong", he said gently

Misaki could not hold it in for any longer.

"Usagi-san...I-I had a nightmare", he hiccuped. "In it...You-you d-died", he finally choked out. "I-I don't know why...y-you're here so I...but it felt so real to me...and I...Usagi-san, I was just so scared.", Misaki said, still crying

At that, the older man pulled Misaki to his body, and embraced him warmly. He gently rocked Misaki back and forth, kissing his forehead lovingly. After a couple of minuted, Misaki had stopped crying and was now clutching the older man's shirt. The scent and touch of his older lover calmed him down and he was feeling more at ease.

"Misaki...I'm here and I'm not going to leave you. Now...or ever", the older man said with emotion

Misaki buried his face in his lover's sleeve and breathed in.

"Usagi-san?", Misaki asked

"What is it?", Usagi asked, still holding Misaki

"I'm sorry", he said

"What for?", Usagi inquired

"I mean...for making you feel like I didn't like you. I...I know that I have trouble expressing myself a lot. And I'm always yelling at you for stuff but...it's nothing against you. I know I don't say it enough but...I love you Usagi-san. I really , truly love you", Misaki said blushing but he held his eye contact with the older man.

"Misaki...", Usagi said looking at the younger man with surprised eyes.

"When I said that I hated you and all that other stuff...it wasn't true. I-I mean you're very special to me...you're the most important person in my life.", Misaki said

"Misaki, I'm sorry I made you feel the way I did. I should not have acted so coldly towards you. When you said that it made you feel like you were going to die...I knew what I had done was wrong. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry", Usagi said holding Misaki close

"Usagi-san...can-can I sleep in your room tonight?", Misaki asked clinging to the older man

All Usagi did was smile. He placed Misaki in his lap, standing up slowly lifting him, and carried him princess style to his room. Misaki just clung to him, not wanting to let go. Once they arrived in the room , Usagi, still holding Misaki closed the door and made his way to the bed, the younger man still in his arms. He gently laid Misaki down on the bed and laid down next to him, wrapping his long arms around the younger man embracing Misaki warmly. All Misaki did was hold on to Usagi. He buried his face in his chest, inhaling the older man's scent, his small hands clutching the back of Usagi's shirt.

"Usagi-san...", Misaki said, his voice small

"Yes, Misaki?", the older man asked

"You...you really won't leave me will you?", Misaki asked

Reaching down and gently pulling Misaki's face to meet his own, the older man looked deep into Misaki's eyes.

"No. I won't...My body, my heart...my entire being exists only for you Misaki", he said not breaking his gaze. "I love you, Misaki", he said finally. Misaki could feel his eyes fill with tears. But this time they were not tears on sadness or frustration, but of love and compassion.

"I love you too, Usagi-san", Misaki said.

Usagi placed two gentle hands on both sides of Misaki's face and lifted his head just a little higher. Gently cupping Misaki's face, Usagi bent his own head down and brought his lips to meet Misaki's. The kiss was different from the others that him and Misaki had shared. It was not only full of want and need but also deep and intense love. The kiss lasted for a moment. It was long and full of passion. Unlike usual, Misaki did not fight back. He immediately gave himself into the kiss and returned it with all the passion he himself had been holding back for such a long time. The older man was slowly beginning to pull away from the kiss, however Misaki slowly reached his arms up and wrapped them around the author's strong neck, pulling him back into the kiss. At first first Akihiko was surprised, but his he returned the kiss with twice the passion he had done before. Then Misaki did something that the older man never would have predicted. While they were still kissing, Usagi felt Misaki's small, warm tongue, slip its way past Usagi's lips and into his mouth, where hit met his own. Usagi obliged Misaki's wet kissed with his own. The two were kissing each other and could not stop. There was a yearning and need Misaki had inside of himself that he had never experienced before. Every kiss was more passionate than the last. Misaki himself was actually it hard to breathe. The kisses were just too hot, too passionate. But even so he did not want to stop. Getting on top on Misaki fully, Usagi placed his hand on the small of the younger man's back, closing the space and distance between their bodies.

"You're so passionate today Misaki...", the older man said licking Misaki's chin. Misaki heard the remark, but did not even want to reply to it. All he wanted was Usagi. He wanted to close whatever distance there was between them, no matter how small it was. Misaki wanted to be one with his lover now and nothing else.

"Usagi-san...", Misaki panted. He slowly opened his wide emerald green eyes to look at Usagi. He reached up and brought his hands to Usagi's cool cheeks. "Kiss me more...", he said. "I love you...I love you so much. I love you!", Misaki said. A gentle stream of tears had begun to run down his face.

"M-Misaki...". The older man was just in awe at his younger lover. At that point he knew there was nothing more lovelier than his beloved Misaki. He loved him and there was no changing it. Usagi slowly began to unbutton Misaki's sleeping shirt, exposing his soft white skin that was slightly tinted pink. Misaki's nipples were already hard just from the kissing. Usagi leaned forward and began to shower Misaki's body with kisses, leaving a thin trail of his saliva on his body as he slowly slid off his pants and underwear. Usagi began to kiss lower until he his mouth had found its way to his younger lover's hard erection. Usagi slowly licked the tip of it with his wet tongue

"A-ah...", Misaki whimpered at the initial contact. The older man could feel the small body shudder beneath him. Now that he had gotten a response, Usagi took the Misaki's full erection into his hot mouth, sucking gently, while his free hand gently pinched and twisted Misaki's nipple in a circular motion.

"Nnnnn...Usagi-san...Ah!", Misaki let out. He was unable to form full sentences anymore.

Usagi reached his other hand up to meet Misaki's other hard nipple and he began to pinch and caress that one just as he had the other. Now he was caressing both of the younger male's nipples. Still playing with Misaki's nipples, the older man positioned his mouth back over Misaki's member and he took it fully into his mouth once again. Bobbing his head in an up an down motion, Usagi began to deep throat Misaki's hard manhood with his mouth. With each stroke of his mouth, Usagi picked up speed, sucking harder. The younger male's breath began to quicken with each movement of Usagi's mouth. The older man was please when he felt Misaki's small hips begin to gently thrust in his mouth. Misaki's movement only turned Usagi that much more as he continued to suck, bobbing his head in steady, fast rhythm.

"U-Usagi-san..."Misaki panted. "Your mouth...move it...I...I'm going to come...", he breathed out

Though the older man heard what Misaki had said, he did not move. He wanted everything that was Misaki. He bobbed his head over Misaki's erection faster while still gently twisting his nipples.

"Usagi-san...I-Ah!" With a final cry, Misaki released into Usagi's mouth. His fluids were warm and hot in the older man's mouth. Usagi swallowed it all to the very last drop, and sucked the younger man's testicles clean. He gave Misaki's tip one last wet lick before looking up at Misaki.

"Delicious...You're so sweet Misaki", Usagi cooed in his ear

"Ah...Usagi-san", Misaki whined. Misaki reached lifted one if his hands and placed his fingers on the older man's cheek. "Usagi-san...I-I need you...", he whimpered as he pressed his body closer to his lover's. Usagi slowly took off his shirt and thew it to the ground, exposing his defined and broad chest. He then leaned over and placed his mouth over Misaki's nipple licking and sucking with his warm and wet tongue until Misaki's entire body had become completely flushed pink. Usagi gave his younger lover another passionate kiss before taking off his own pants and boxers. They were both naked now, each looking deep into the other;s eyes. Usagi lowered himself over Misaki until their abdominal areas were touching. He grabbed his and Misaki's erections, both pulsing in his own hands and brought them together to meet each other, Misaki could feel Usagi's large length grow harder and even more large just at the mere contact with his. In the dark, Misaki saw Usagi apply the lubricant to his fingers, coating them in it. Reaching down, the older man pushed one long finger into Misaki, pumping it in and out. Misaki's body relaxed almost instantly after and was taking pleasure from the movement of the older man's finger. It was not belong before Usagi had three long fingers moving inside of Misaki stretching him out. After a couple of minutes the older man slowly removed his finger's from Misaki's hole, licking each one afterwards. Usagi then slowly reached down, gently spreading the younger man's slim legs apart, all the while looking at his lovingly, his lavender eyes full of love

"Usagi-san...", Misaki breathed looking up at his lover. "I love you...", he said again

"And I love you, Misaki", Usagi said "I'm going to show you that", the older man said as he positioned himself over Misaki again. Usagi's placed his large erection over Misaki's hole and in one deep thrust, penetrated the younger boy. Misaki's body shivered in pleasure at the shear force of it. The older man seemed to be as eager as Misaki.

"Misaki...can you feel it? I'm all the way inside of you", he said. Misaki had taken in all of Usagi's length in one thrust

"U-Usagi-san...", Misaki breathed

Usagi began to thrust in and out of Misaki, each stroke of his girth giving more ecstasy to the boy more than the last. With every thrust the older man hit Misaki's prostate, causing the younger man to cry out in pleasure. In long stroke of his hips, Usagi had closed any spaces that were between them. It was if they had truly become one with each other. Misaki began letting out noises that he never had before. And he did not feel the slightest shame in doing so. Usagi gave his body love that could not be measured by any amount.

"U-Usagi-san...harder", Misaki whimpered.

The older man was quick to oblige, quickening his thrusts, causing Misaki to cry out in pleasure. The only sounds that could be heard were the contact being made with skin and the hot breath that were coming from the two.

"F-faster...", Misaki whined, pushing his hips to meet Usagi's hard and passionate thrusts. Both of their bodies were slick with sweat, temperatures still rising. Misaki clung to Usagi all the while he was penetrating him. Usagi never stopped his movements, but kept the steady, quick rhythm of his thrusts, his strong, masculine hips flexing with each movement. The cries coming from Misaki seemed to have no end, each growing louder than the last. Usagi had never heard Misaki cry so loud while they were together. He felt the slightest bit of worry at the fact.

"Misaki, are you alright?", he asked stopping

Looking up, Misaki saw his older lover's worried looking face staring down at him.

"I-I'm fine Usagi-san...wha-why did you stop?", the younger man asked blushing

"No...it's just that you...I never heard you react this way before. I-", the older man went silent once he felt Misaki's slim hips humping towards Usagi, begging to be closer to him.

"Usagi-san...please...m-more", Misaki whined. His sense was completely taken over by the intense love and passion he was feeling for Usagi.

At that, Usagi lifted Misaki up placing him to straddle him, both of them in a sitting position. Usagi slowly eased his large cock inside of Misaki's hole. Misaki felt his entire body shiver at the friction that was caused. It was a position that he was not used to and it took some time for his body to adjust to it. It was still a little uncomfortable but Misaki tried his best to deal with it.

"Misaki...loosen up...a little more", Usagi said in a husky voice.

Misaki relaxed his thigh muscles and then felt a sudden thrust from the older man, causing him to shiver and cry out. The sudden movement of Usagi's heat inside of Misaki had hit his prostate on the first try, causing the younger man to cry out in pleasure.

"Good, Misaki...", The older man told him in a raucous voice. Usagi began to thrust his large manhood in and out of Misaki, picking up speed with each movement. Everytime he moved, Misaki's body reacted, shivering in pleasure in tune to every thrust. Still thrusting, Usagi positioned Misaki higher up on his lap, allowing him to better penetrate Misaki. Taking advantage of the new position, still thrusting, Usagi bent his head slightly, taking Misaki's hard nipples into his mouth. He alternated between both of them, tracing his hot tongue over them and gently nibbling on each. The younger man had never felt any kind of pleasure such as this before. His body started acting on it's own, seeking out more pleasure to satisfy its need. Misaki wrapped his arm's around Usagi's neck and began moving his hips in an up and down motion, plunging his lover's cock deep inside of him.

Misaki's actions surprised the older man even more than he already was. His younger lover had never been able to have sex with him in this position before, and Misaki was riding him of his own will and initiative. Usagi responded by lifting his hips further up, allowing for even more penetration. He kept thrusting, going faster with each one. The pleasure was almost unbearable. With each one of Usagi's thrust, Misaki began to cry out, louder than he had before.

"Ah...Ah...Ah!", Misaki cried out loudly

Usagi did not speak, as he was bent on continuing. His only response was to thrust harder.

Misaki pulled his lover's head to his chest, and tangled his his hands in Usagi's soft, silver hair, letting out only muffled gasps and moans of pleasure.

"Misaki...please...say my name...", Usagi said in a throaty voice. Misaki didn't hold it in.

"U-Usagi-san...", Misaki panted breathlessly

"Usagi-san", Misaki said again

"Usagi-san!", Misaki cried out

"Usagi-san", he cried out again in pleasure

"Misaki...I going to come", Usagi said. He was slightly panting now. The older man began to pull out of Misaki, but the younger man, held him tight.

"No...U-Usagi-san...I-I want you to cum inside of me...", Misaki while Usagi continued to thrust.

"You're so cute, Misaki..." Usagi said kissing him passionately.

"I-I feel close too", Misaki said. His voice was almost a whisper

"Then...do it...Let's come together", the older man whispered hotly in Misaki's ear

With on final thrust, Usagi came deep in Misaki's hole, filling him with his hot, milky ejaculation. At the same time Misaki came, shooting his fluids over the older man's stomach and chest, and on his own stomach. The two stayed like that for a while, panting heavily and kissing non stop. There was still so much passion in the air even though they had just finished making love for quite some time. Usagi showered Misaki with his kisses, allowing his tongue to search the insides on Misaki's mouth, while Misaki himself planted sweet loving kisses on Usagi's neck and chest. They were both covered in each other's fluids and sweat, which was OK with them. The closeness that that they felt when they were like that brought them both happiness. After over twenty minutes of more passionate kissing and caressing, Usagi slowly raised Misaki off of his lap, the older man's cum slowly drizzling down Misaki's inner thighs. The younger man's knees buckled slightly as Usagi pulled himself out of Misaki. It was not because he was in pain but because it felt strange not having his lover inside of him after the way they had become so intimate. He actually wanted to stay in that position with Usagi, maybe even waiting for a second round of love making. Misaki blushed, thinking if whether or not he really had become perverted and dare he say 'naughty'. Usagi laid him and Misaki down of the sheets that were wet with sweat and semen, pulling the covers over them both. Usagi pulled Misaki close to his own body. Misaki could feel the sweat and heat between their two naked bodies. The older man held Misaki so close, closer than he ever had before. He had held him before, but some just felt so different to him. Perhaps because he was feeling it for the first, with his heart not holding anything back. Before he knew it, Misaki found himself wrapping his arms around Usagi also, pulling his body closer to his. He breathed in Usagi's scent and buried his face in the older man's bare, damp chest. Usagi pulled him closer, until he was pressed firmly against his lover's body.

"Don't worry, Misaki...", he said teasingly. "We can go a second round when we get up", he said smirking. Misaki blushed. It was if his lover had read his previous thoughts.

"Pervert.", Misaki said. But he did not let go of Usagi. Just then Misaki looked up at Usagi, blushing and large green eyes full of innocence.

"Usagi-san, I love you", he said, not wavering in any way

"And I love you Misaki. You are everything to me.", the older man said

"Hold me tighter", Misaki said

Usagi chuckled lightly. "Misaki...if I hold you any tighter, I might break you", he said smiling

"It's OK. I don't mind if you break me or anything...so...please", Misaki pleaded

The older man did as he was asked and tightened his grip on Misaki's back.

"When...When Aikawa-san called me and told me that you were in the accident, I-I felt as if my mind had left me. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't think...at all. I was so worried about you Usagi-san. If-if something were to happen to you, I...I really don't know what I would do. I mean I...I need you.", Misaki said whispered. Remembering words that his older lover had once said, Misaki began to speak again "I...I wouldn't last a day without you Usagi-san", the younger man said. At these words Usagi's eyes grew wide. He gently kissed Misaki's forehead.

"Misaki...I'm so happy right now. I don't even know what to do", Usagi said. Misaki pulled himself higher and gently kissed the older man's lips. Usagi could feel Misaki's lips trembling slightly as he did.

"Usagi-san...I love you", Misaki said again, with a slight tremble in his voice. "I mean it..."

"Misaki, what's wrong? You're crying...",Usagi said

"It's nothing", Misaki said smiling. "I just finally realized how much I...I care about you...how lucky I am to have to have you and be loved by you. And I'm just...happy.", Misaki said, clinging to his lover.

Usagi could not even respond to the words that had just come out of his younger lover's mouth. He pressed his body even further into Misaki's and buried his face in Misaki's soft brown hair.

_This is too much happiness_, Usagi said to himself

"Misaki...as soon as we wake up, I'm going to make love to you again", Usagi declared with love

"Y-yes...", Misaki said blushing squeezing the older man tighter.

Misaki intertwined his legs with Usagi's and relaxed his body into his. Usagi's wrapped his long arms around Misaki's shoulders and back, and placed his hand through Misaki's soft hair. The two fell asleep together, their breathing and hearts attuned with one another's. Neither one of them could tell where the they began or the other one ended. It was if they really had become one in body and soul. It was the most peace and serenity that both Misaki and Usagi had felt in a very long time. It was true bliss. They were were locked in a warm embrace, listening to the sounds of each other's heartbeats and just with that they were both truly happy.

**Well there it is, MY SECOND JUNJOU ROMANTICA FANFICTION! ^0^. I worked pretty hard on it LOL. I'm not too sure about the end though. I was holding myself back a little when I was writing the sex scene. I don't even know why LOL. I really wanted to make it so much dirtier than it came out, but something in the back of my head was telling me to 'turn it down'. I really don't want any of my stories to get blocked, I would so so embarrassed. All around I am happy with my story. It's full of fluff, tradgedy, drama, and lots of sex and molestation XD. PLEASE RATE AND COMMENT! THANX FOR READING GUYS! **

**:) :) :)**


	2. Please read! more info on my story!

OK first off by letting me say that I apologize that my story suddenly was removed! I was soooooo mad. And I was holding myself back actually when writing the sex scene! I just don't understand it really. There are a lot of stories on here that are way more explicit but mine was singles out! _

Anyway I had to re upload it and I hope that I don't in trouble for it later on. Oh and I changed the rating to from M to T just in case. Now that I've told my story, I would like to recognize some people for making happy.

Special thanks to:

verge-of-insanity-and-sanity for following and favoriting

Merurari for favoriting

Miss Uzuki for favoriting

Sailor Epyon for favoriting

usamisaftw for for favoriting

Alessandra for favoriting

Golden Tinted Haze for favoriting (favoriteed author! ^0^)

damons-hot-as-hell for favoriting

sekhoya990 for favoriting

NewBlueTrue for favoriting

Crazyanimelover1289 for favoriting

firtara for favoriting

charon90888 for following

And again a very, very special thanks to:

**verge-of-insanity-and-insanity for commenting**

-Holy mother of god, I was balling in this fanfiction, first fanfic to EVER to  
make me cry. (I was holding a tissue box and fjklvlkcjaslkvnlk) You are very  
talented at producing feelings during the plot! Something I've struggled with  
as an author. Also the sex scene and feelings in that scene clicked something  
in my young mind about waiting to have sex until you find someone utterly  
perfect (like them). Nng, *hugs you*

**Sailor Epyon for commenting**

-Wow, this is a wonderful story. It's been a while since a fanfic has moved me  
and I've been here for over 11 years. I almost wish the manga would move in  
this direction. I love that Misaki was finally able to admit his feelings for  
Usagi...it almost seems like a tragedy may be the only way for him to say  
those words to him aloud without hesitation or pride getting in the way. Thank  
you for writing this.

**KahoriSaeko for commenting **

-Omg. This has got to be THE BEST Junjou Story I have read! I actually cried at  
some parts and I have only done that with one other story! It was just truly  
amazing(: You are a fantastic writer. Nuff said :D

**RiceBunny (Guest) for commenting**

-I absolutely love this fanfic! The drama, the tragedy and the fluffy  
part! Well especially the fluffy part :)  
And the.. ahem.. lemon scene.. was awesome as well! I hope you write more  
fanfics like this one! :D

**damons-hot-as-hell for commening **

-aaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ww it was soooo cute i love the end more dirtier  
and smexer wld have work tooo lols hehe i love it

**iiMunchies (Guest) for commenting**

-Sweet mother of god,that was probably the best fanfic I've ever  
read. And I've been reading them for quite a while Haha. This literally  
touched my heart and it seemed as if i was actually reading something created  
by Shungiku Nakamura herself. Thank you for making this fanfiction. :'3

**Nymphis for commenting**

-I liked it :) it was an awesome story can't wait to read more :)

**shashasharina for commenting**

-Loved it! The sad scenes made me tear up, almost as if it's happening to me.  
Loved the ending.

**Sekhoya990 for commenting **

-I don't see this story have the word "complete", so, have we any hope of a  
second chapter? *w*

**firtara for commenting **

-I must say... wow.  
This was one of the best fanfictions I have read in a really long time. Thank  
you so much, it was absolutly amazing. Please continue writing. I look forward  
to your next fic.

**No I did not make up any of those comments, but I don't know I'm just really sad that my the comments were deleted. I mean the ratings and stuff I don't really care about but the comments mean a lot to me. I hope I didn't offend anyone by putting their comments and things on here and if I did am very sorry. I'll remove them if you ask me too V_V.

I think the best part of writing stories here is the comments! They just make you feel so good. It makes me feel happy that I've written a story that people enjoy to read and it makes me feel just...good. I can't even explain it. I'm just...wow. Anyway let me reiterate on my previous statement. Thank you all SO, SO, SO, SOOOO MUCH EVERYONE! I really mean it. I won't ask you all to comment again but I sure wouldn't be against it either! :). I FREAKIN' LOVE YOU GUYS! ^0^

*ps: I am now writing my next story and I can't wait for you guys to read it! :3


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